Quote Originally Posted by busydaycarelady View Post
Hello all.
My father is a heavy smoker. Like a cigarette about every 20-30 minutes. I suffer from terrible, debilitating migraines and have discovered that second hand smoke is a major trigger for me to have a migraine. Anyhow, he always smokes in his house and has invited everyone over for a visit over the long weekend. I have mentioned to him that it has a tendency to give me migraines and he just says, oh I will open a window. Well that's not enough, so I have said I will come but if he smokes around me I will have to leave. Now he's angry with me and so are my siblings. They basically have told me I am being ridiculous and selfish for not visiting my own father. I do feel guilty about it but I also don't want to deal with the days and days of pain and feeling just awful a visit to his home will bring. Sorry. Just needed to vent a bit. Am I being selfish?
anyone who has ever had a migraine would never call you selfish but anyone who has never had a migraine wont understand.

Will you be staying at their house for the weekend? If thats the plan I would suggest staying at a hotel so that at least you can get away from it. Smokers get very defensive about their habit and even if he didnt smoke in the house when you were there, the stale smoke would probably be enough to set off a migraine. I understand migraine pain and he needs to understand how it affects you and that this could cause you to possibly have to take time off work as well.
Tough situation. If it were me, I would either just go for the day and take meds before I got there to help ward off the migraine and get out for fresh air often. If a day trip isnt possible because of distance, definately stay in a hotel. as for your siblings, Im guessing maybe they are smokers so it doesnt affect them. Take care of yourself first.