Request to be put on a waiting list

[Naftafia]

I have recently received a request from an acquaintance to put her child on a waiting list for whenever I may have an open spot. I am not sure how to deal with this as I am almost certain that they will not be a right fit for my daycare.

I am not sure if I should approach the subject now, basically trying to inform them that I prefer not taking children of people I know OR if I should reply that I will notify them when a spot is available and we could proceed with an interview at that time.

I really don't like both options above.... so maybe someone has an other option to suggest!?

I feel flattered that they really want to come to my daycare, however in no way could I accept a family with whom I do not "click" or see like a good fit with us.

[treeholm]

The problem with telling her that you don't want to mix business and friendship is that you might, at some point, decide to take on another acquaintance's child, and then it looks like you were lying. I would simply tell her that you don't keep a waiting list because if an opening comes up, you need to make sure to find a family at that time who is a good fit with the current children and families, and you cannot predict ahead of time what age group and/or personality type you would be looking for. So, it would be best for her to go ahead and make other plans. I think it could be very awkward to tell her that you know her child would not fit into your home because you don't click. This may be quite true, but I can't imagine it going over well. When the time comes that you have a spot, you would then not be obligated to interview them or let them know you have a spot. If they find out you had a spot and didn't call them, you could tell them someone else on your list was a good fit.
Good luck... this is a hard place to be.

[mimi]

I agree with treeholm. You don't want this family hanging over you waiting for a spot you don't want them to fill. Just let her know it is difficult to predict openings for certain age groups which is why you don't have a waiting list. Tell her your appreciation for her interest and let her know she should continue her search.

[playfelt]

Assuming you won't have an opening when she would need to start care then she will need to start with another caregiver. If she is just hanging around at the other caregiver waiting for you to have an opening then she is doing you, her, her child and her first caregiver all an injustice. She needs to embrace the fact you won't have an opening when she needs it and then take any advice you want to give on finding a good match and then putting her whole self into that relationship and not hovering for a spot with you. Use the not breaking the bond that is forming between child and caregiver as one of the reasons for not wanting child to be ripped from first arrangement to be placed with you. Then that takes the pressure off of you too.

[Naftafia]

Thank you for your replies and suggestions. Just to clarify, the child has started somewhere else and has been there for nearly 1 month. I had provided her with info on finding a daycare and answered all her questions about my daycare and norms. When she initially asked about coming here, I did not have a spot and informed her that I would not have one for quite a while. But now she is showing interest in waiting, and that is the twist that I was not expecting.

[sunnydays]

Oooh, that's a tough one. I had someone like that contact me awhile back...already has a daycare, but was really interested in switching to mine when I had a space. After doing a phone interview, I really don't think she would be a good fit. We just left it with saying that I would let her know if another space became available (she didn't have time to come for an interview at this time). I think she knew I wasn't so enthusiastic and for me, if you don't even have time to come for an interview, I'm not interested! I would probably tell her that you don't foresee any openings any time soon, but you'll let her know if something becomes available if it is a spot for a child the age of her child. Just stress the fact that she shouldn't have her hopes up, as it is unlikely that you will soon have an opening and then you have to consider the needs of the group in terms of age, personalities etc.

[Momof4]

I never promise a space to anybody either because you can't predict these things unless you have a child graduating to school in Sept. I would tell your acquantance parent that you are happy she found a home daycare and recommend that she keep her child with one caregiver because it is traumatic for children to have to move around from daycare to daycare.