While I get what you are saying about not accepting aggressive behaviour ( I don't accept it either), I do not actually see the biting as "intentional". To be "intentional", a person has to think about it and then say to themselves "I am going to bite Johnny because I don't like what he's doing...that will teach him"...or something along those lines. I think in a 22 month old, it is more like an urge or impulse that takes over in the heat of a moment of frustration and they act before thinking. I think it would be very difficult for this child to stop himself and say "hmmm, if I bite, I might get a time-out, so I won't". That is why time-outs never worked for either of the biters I used to have in care. I found giving the child a soother worked...maybe giving them something else to bite when frustrated would work as well. And avoiding the frustration is key. Intervening before the bite happens is key. But, we all do what works for us.


Quote Originally Posted by mom-in-alberta View Post
I think there are a lot of good suggestions, here for the OP. Hopefully you can see some improvement right away. The thing I am questioning is, are mom and dad on board, FOR SURE? If this has been going on for months or whatever, and mom and dad are doing the same things as provider, I am thinking it should be at least getting better?
Maybe I have become too cynical, and I don't believe that parents are actually trying, unless I see it with my own eyes.

And I will say, not attempting to stir the pot, that I am not sure that you can compare a little person learning to walk and knocking buddy over, with a little person who is angry/frustrated and bites. The first is accidental, and the second is intentional. Perhaps not intending to hurt, (although sometimes it is) but a deliberate act nonetheless. And in my program, the only thing that receives an immediate time out is aggresive or hurtful behaviour.

I agree with not OVERusing time outs, absolutely. As with anything, they lose their meaning. And because each child is a different person, we need to think creatively sometimes and determine a consequence that will actually matter to a child, and that sends a clear message "THIS behaviour is NOT okay".