Caring for a risky child

[Momof4]

Spixie, you seem to be terribly stressed out. We all deserve to be happy in our jobs because we work long, hard days. Wouldn't you rather feel happy and contented all the time, without stress? Think about what is best for you, ok? Something tells me you are trying to do what is best for everybody else all the time and I'm like that too until I'm about to crack under the pressure then I realize I have to take care of myself so I can be happy.

[Spixie33]

Spixie, you seem to be terribly stressed out. We all deserve to be happy in our jobs because we work long, hard days. Wouldn't you rather feel happy and contented all the time, without stress? Think about what is best for you, ok? Something tells me you are trying to do what is best for everybody else all the time and I'm like that too until I'm about to crack under the pressure then I realize I have to take care of myself so I can be happy.

I hear you on many levels. lol

[Crayola kiddies]

These seizures are called febrile seizures...... It's when a fever rises to above 102...... They are common in children between the ages of6 months and 5 yrs and being most common in toddlers. If you put febrile seizures in your search engine you will find lots of info.

[michellesmunchkins]

I an open to special needs children joining my daycare; however, seizures are the one 'issue' that I would not accept/keep in daycare, especially one like you discussed. I would be paranoid the entire time that the child was in care that something would happen. I wouldn't be able to relax during the child's nap time and would constantly be 'waiting for the shoe to drop' so to speak. It just wouldn't work in my daycare. That amount of stress would make me miserable which would in turn make everyone around me miserable and that's just not fair to everyone involved. This is all just my personal opinion but the fear of something bad happening would just be too much for me.

[Spixie33]

These seizures are called febrile seizures...... It's when a fever rises to above 102...... They are common in children between the ages of6 months and 5 yrs and being most common in toddlers. If you put febrile seizures in your search engine you will find lots of info.

Yes that's what they are exactly.

I did research it when they registered and told me what had happened between our initial meeting and the registration and how scary the seizure was for them.

I read up on it and all the websites I saw said they were harmless. The websites said to just provide a safe space for the child to seize and not to panic because it would stop within minutes. There was certainly no mention of possible death. That is why I was scared silly when the parents told me that during the weekend last week their daughter almost died from one and couldn't get proper oxygen to her brain for an extended amount of time.

I think I really need to have some dialogue with these parents and tell them that daycare may not even be the ideal place for their girl. Why expose her to all the cold viruses that go through here? They are harmless to the other kids but why expose someone who is going to possibly get seizures from it?

[apples and bananas]

I would simply let the parents know that I am not set up to monitor a child all the time. Unless a strict diagnosis comes from the doctor then I would let them know that I can't continue care. I am no longer a good fit for their daughter.

It's a hard one. Unrealistic for a parent to not work and stare at their child all day. But the liability on you could be huge if something happened. It's not a risk I'd be willing to take. Not after 2 unexplained seizures... one putting her at risk of death.

[gramma]

HI...just wanted to pick everyone's brains on something and see what others would do in this situation.

Last month I started a 12 month old girl into care. The parents live 2 doors down. I usually never do care for neighbours or friends and broke the rule because the parents were pleading and stroking my ego so much that I agreed. lol I woo easily.

We met up formally a few months ago to go over some things in preparation for mom returning to work. They said DCG is easy going, perfectly healthy.

Then just before she started care in January - the parents told me that she had a seizure at the beginning of December because her fever had spiked during a cold and that the doctors assured them that this type of seizure was not uncommon. It was nothing to worry about they assured me.

So DCG started care and was transitioning just like normal. Nothing smooth but nothing unexpected either.

Then two weeks ago she got a cold....probably from all the new germs she was exposed to from the other kids. The parents called me Monday morning and told me that she had to go to the local hospital because she seized again during the weekend. She had to spend 2 days in hospital and apparently it was really serious where she was turning blue and could not get oxygen during her seizure.

The seizure happened during her nap....it was just lucky that the mom went in to check on daycare girl or else she could have even passed away from lack of oxygen.

So the girl is now expected to come back to daycare in a few days and I am starting to panic.

What if she returns and has a seizure during nap at daycare and something happens? I am often busy during nap, filling out reports, prepping afternoon snack, relaxing or doing laundry etc. What i it happened here and I don't notice? I have a video monitor I can use for her but I might not see every single minute.

And I have 4 other kids in care alongside her every day. I am getting nervous how to watch this girl with an eagle eye for fevers/seizures when they could literally be life or death and I have other kids to worry about.

I am starting to panic and wonder if I should find a way to tell this family that I feel the responsibility is just too much. When I think of the liability and possible outcomes and when they tell me how close she recently came to actually being near death from lack of oxygen I panic.

Am I over-thinking? I feel awful to ever tell them I don't feel I can provide the care that their little one needs but I also feel scared to continue on. I am torn. On one hand I am responsible for keeping all the little kiddos alive and well and keep an eye on them every day so it is no different but on the other hand I feel it is different because now there is a pattern/previous history established.

What would you do??? Recommendations??

first thing that comes to mind is why the parents would think that a home daycare situation is the right place for the dd. the second thing is that they dont know what the child is suffering from. they want to put her back in daycare and hope that it doesnt happen again. as a mother, i wouldnt be trusting anyone to provide the care that this child needs (no offense to you at all). This child needs to be the only focus of the person looking aftr her until a proper diagnosis is made. I would tell the parents its too much for you. they are being very irresponsible in my opinion.

[DisneyPrincess]

Wow that would make me so nervous, I really need that nap-time off to relax myself and I'm afraid all my energy gained would be ruined by checking up on her every second since I would worry. Sounds selfish of me.

I would definitely ask a letter (review) from the doctor stating the risk factor etc... I did that for a little girl with asthma so for sure I would do that for seizures.

If I go on with it, I would plan out emergency contact on hand for fast action, neighbours around me that I know could take over if I have to go for example with the emergency crew etc. I wouldn't invest in special equipment for one child, the parents would have to get everything needed (ex: digital thermometer) and if I would be in the extra work of monitoring every move, I guess I would have to charge extra for special needs children.

Well, thats what I think

Good luck !!

[Spixie33]

first thing that comes to mind is why the parents would think that a home daycare situation is the right place for the dd. the second thing is that they dont know what the child is suffering from. they want to put her back in daycare and hope that it doesnt happen again. as a mother, i wouldnt be trusting anyone to provide the care that this child needs (no offense to you at all). This child needs to be the only focus of the person looking aftr her until a proper diagnosis is made. I would tell the parents its too much for you. they are being very irresponsible in my opinion.

Well they did get a diagnosis in December that it was Febrile seizures meaning the girl has a seizure when her fever gets too high. They were given information from the doctor and told it was not serious.
THen the seizure two weeks ago happened and the child had to be hospitalized and the doctors said she almost died. That is when the whole situation became more serious.

There are complex seizures and simple seizures and it looks like the latest one was a complex one which could be life threatening.

No offense taken. I personally agree and am not sure how a parent could leave their child in daycare after this situation that happened but I am wondering if they feel like they have no other choice because they have to work. They may feel like the risk is okay because I will call 911 at the first sign of seizure and their daughter will get the proper help. However...I am scared of missing the seizure or not paying attention enough or being liable if something happens etc.

I thought I was signing on a perfectly healthy child so this whole situation just came out of left field.

[apples and bananas]

Too much risk in my opinion. I wouldn't be able to relax at all during the day. The child needs to be constantly monitored and I think centre care may be the only way to have that happen.