Birthday Idea for a Mom

[momofnerds]

a bookmark
frame
necklace out of cereal
paper purse
something to hang off of her mirror in her car
something to hang on her keys
bake something, I know this would be a big hit! (heck I would like it if someone made dinner lol!)

[Momof4]

Well, I was the first one on this thread to say I wouldn't have the time or inclination to make something for a parent's birthday. We make tons of stuff for the parents for Mother's & Father's Days and for Christmas. But one poster somewhere on the thread mentioned that if you do this for one Mom you will have to do if for 10 or more and I agree. I treat all my children fairly and I treat all my families fairly so if I were you and made the craft today I would be setting a precedent for myself that I would have to continue so I felt that I was being fair to everyone.

That was my original opinion, didn't mean to start a big debate, but I also found out the hard way with my very first clients that if you agree to do a favour one time you start a snowball effect and they ask for more and more favours. I was concerned you were opening a big can of worms for yourself, hence my original comments on page 1, ok? No Drama Here!!!

[KellyP]

Judy... I'm not sure what a unicorn has to do with it.

Unicorn Provider

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...icorn+provider

[Momof4]

That's hilarious!

[apples and bananas]

Wow! Once again, I didn't ask for opinions, I didn't ask to be judged. I asked for some craft ideas. We all run our business's differently. Different parents look for different things. Thank you for clarifying what Judy's off handed comment refered to. It's unfortunate that she throws her opinions out there, but is not will to debate anything.

I'm not here to defend my business or how I run my dayhome.

however, I will tell all of you that I agree... I don't think it's our job to do a craft or card for a bday. I think it is much better when dad sits down with the kids to complete the work. I also agree that I don't think it's right to "speak through the child". I find it underhanded and sneaky too.

But...

I like to help people out when I can. As I said in my origional post... I had a slow day today. I was excited to do something above and beyond for someone else. You know... you hear about people doing things like buying the person behind them in the tim's drive through a coffee. Do they buy everyone behind them a coffee? Does the person 3 cars back get upset that their coffee wasn't paid for?

It's not like I'm putting up a sign on my front lawn "WILL MAKE CARDS FOR MOM"S BDAY" It's not like the 3 year old told the 2 year old and the 2 year old went home and told mom the unfair thing the provider did today

I appreciate those of you who had feedback, and backed it up. I would have much prefered if it came with a clever craft idea as that's what I origionaly asked for.

[Judy Trickett]

Wow! Once again, I didn't ask for opinions, I didn't ask to be judged. I asked for some craft ideas. We all run our business's differently. Different parents look for different things. Thank you for clarifying what Judy's off handed comment refered to. It's unfortunate that she throws her opinions out there, but is not will to debate anything.

I find the fact that you think I don't debate anything laughable. I think that if people here were honest they would say I do plenty of debate. The problem is whenever you truly debate anything someone always runs off crying that I was too harsh or too mean. Seriously, sooooo over that.

Okay, you want a debate? HERE IS WHY I WON'T MAKE A CARD.........


Daycare has always been a minimum wage job (or very close to minimum wage). It doesn't matter if you did in home daycare in 1970, 1980, 1990 or 2000. If you break it down, after you pay out expenses, considering you are FULL all the time you are still earning minimum wage or less.

Now, I also realize that Tim Horton's has always been a minimum wage job. So, has McDonald's, most retail and many other jobs. BUT, back in 1970, while earning minimum wage the Tim Horton's worker or McDonald's worker sold donuts, hamburgers and coffee. It is essentially the SAME job they do now. They are earning the SAME wage (minimum wage) to do the same job. In essence, their job responsibilities in 1970 still match the job responsibilities and the proportionate wage that they do today. NOTHING has changed for the Timmie's or McDonald's worker in over 30 years.

BUT, take the daycare worker, babysitter, it doesn't matter what you call her, and it HAS changed for her. In the 1970's the babysitter kept kids fed, let them run around in the back yard all day or even had them sit in front of the TV. Parents were happy to have a happy, alive kid upon return from work. In the 1980s came the boom of 'early childhood education" and that same babysitter was now expected to follow a few government rules and offer a little bit of the alphabet and basic numbers. TV was starting to become "bad" for kids to watch all day. Then came the 1990s and now all kids needed to be wearing sunscreen all day, not be in the direct sun more than a few hours, TV was the "bad" babysitter, and they were expected to follow a curriculum and TEACH kids things during the day. Then came the 2000s and then suddenly every child expert said that not only were kids NOT to be in front of the TV all day, wear sunscreen, be fed three times a day in a nine hour period, but they were also to be "emotionally developed" through NO discipline and stupid shit like time-outs, gentle voices, a hands -off policy to discipline. And on top of that we were to make sure they are kindergarten ready. There was to be no plastic toys, God-forbid a kid lick something and die from BPA exposure , cloth diapered, be outside no less than an hour a day, have an ECE credited provider. AND, of course, during all of these years and with increased responsibility and more WORK for the provider the wage did not change. The provider in the 1970s was making minimum wage just the same as the provider in 2000 with a LOAD more that was expected of her.

My point is......WHERE DOES IT END??? If you ask a certain segment of the working population to keep giving and giving and pile more on their plates but never financially reward them then OF COURSE there are gonna be rogue providers who stand up and finally say ENOUGH!!!!!

I won't make a freaking birthday card for a parent because I already do ENOUGH. When does it end? Today it is the card. Tomorrow it will be something more. And every time a provider says that those "rogue" providers are bitter or mean or lazy or confrontational about making something like a card it sets back any progress the daycare profession has made. When a provider steps into the camp WITH the parents it makes our jobs harder. I am not saying this is an "us against them" situation. I don't think that at all. But from a SOCIETAL view the proof is in the pudding - we ARE and HAVE BEEN expected to do more, take on more responsibility and no one has ever stood up and say that for that additional work we should be paid more. No one can refute that point - it's fact. We still make the SAME income, proportionately, that we did 40 years ago.

I really do NOT understand why providers do not SEE this! It's not rocket science. So, YES, it pisses me off when providers come on and poo-bah a few providers who stand up and say "that is not my JOB". And it makes me angry that a parent would pile more on our plates.

Where does it end?

If providers want to be respected and seen as professionals then THEY have to do the work to make that happen. The provider has to stand up and say NO to a parent. We don't have to be mean about it. We can do it kindly and professionally but it still needs to be done. We are not babysitters or nannies. We are not a parent's personal assistant. We do IMPORTANT work and we deserve to be respected for it. And, sorry, but being asked to do, yet another, job that is a parental (or, in this case, spousal) responsibility reeks of the disrespect we see in this profession. I would NEVER ask a child's teacher to make sure she took time out of her teaching day to ensure my kid made a birthday card. So why do we ask a dcprovider? And, furthermore that teacher would look at you like you had two heads. But, oh, no, the provider just does it.

Where does it end?

[momofnerds]

well today I'm going to be a unicorn provider because today dcg came in and told me it was her daddys birthday so we are going to make a card and a craft.

[momofnerds]

judy, you seem so bitter and so angry about your job and the children and parents that you work with that maybe you need to hang up your wipes and go do something else. Relax, its just a card its not rocket science, *I* love doing arts and crafts with my kids, even with my own kids that its nothing to make a card. The poster was looking for ideas, why haven't you posted any ideas, instead you critized her from making a craft with a child, would it have been different if they made the craft first and then the child said that its for her dad's birthday????

[mimi]

If I would help the child make a card for the parent, I do it for the child, not the parent. They are so proud of their craft/card and are very excited to give it to their parent. It is for the child's benefit.

[KellyP]

I agree with what judy said. I think there are way too many providers out there who go that extra mile because they just loooove kids and dreamed of being a caregiver from birth and then those same providers who go out of their way to include a daycare family into their lives and love them like their own are the same providers who complain about being disrespected and treated poorly by the very families they went the extra mile for.

It just makes no sense to me. I personally went into this field because I wanted to make money while being home with my own kids. I certainly didn't want to be someone's personal assistant/servant/nanny.

If someone wants to go that extra mile, then by all means do so but it sure makes it sucky then for the rest of us who want to work in a capacity that includes alot more respect and professionalism.

Maybe this is the time where "child care provider" shouldn't be a titled used for all the different type of providers out there.

I consider myself a child care provider. Meaning I provide "CARE" (and only care) to the child. I don't perform or agree to do any of the tasks that some consider parental responsibilities. Maybe those providers who do go that extra mile, should be called "Family Care Providers." Atleast that way people can differentiate between the different types of care givers out there.