Birthday Idea for a Mom

[sunnydays]

I would have been more ticked off having it asked through the child because at that point, there is no easy way to say no. Not doing it would disappoint the child who is now expecting it. It's like saying to the child, "maybe if you're good, sunnydays will give you ice cream today"...well, when I don't pull out the ice cream, the child is going to have a melt-down and think either he is not "good" or I am just mean. That would be my issue with this way of doing things.

To avoid all the drama and get to your original question, I lilke some of the craft ideas here and I actually JUST made the pasta necklaces yesterday! All the kids loved them, we worked on patterns and putting them in order of colour etc. A great hit! The bookmark idea sounds simple and nice too!

As a "unicorn provider" I have had a mom drop off her daughter and say to her: "remember, after daycare, we are going to Aunt Shelley's birthday dinner!". Well, I helped the little girl make a birthday card for her Aunt Shelley. It was a simple, thoughtful gesture and mom appreciated it. I really would have no problem making a card for Mommy or Daddy, even if it was told to me thru the child as previously mentioned.
I dont agree that if we do it for one family, we need to do it for them all. I dont record parents birthdays, so they probably wont get one year after year!

The only time this would tick me off is if a parent said "its Mommys birthday, could you please something up for her? thanks" hahaha I think I would immediately be too busy to accomodate then. Them "hinting" to maybe if we had time etc, then I'm sure I can whip something up quite quickly!
Especially if it was the dad who asked, he is probably alot like my husband and I literally need to pull out the paper, glue, markers, glitter etc for him to sit down and help my son make ME a birthday card! Hopeless lol

Sorry you got the sidetracked opinions not about what you were originally asking about.
I always think twice about posting threads because of the criticism that goes along with it.

[apples and bananas]

I see it differently. I didn't get offended. I thought it was cute and I saw it as an opportunity to wow mom. I took it as a compliment. This father knows that I have a great connection with his son. And I didn't tell him i would do it, I told him that we would do our best to make some time for that. I do have a structured day. I also understand that they're kids. Structure sometimes turns into flexability.

I think it's very clear that Judy specificially (because she's the only one that gave this side of the argument) wasn't concerned about me being taken advantage of. Her point was clear that by doing this I set a standard for all providers.

And maybe that's ok. Maybe we all need to re look at our day. And try to find time for the little things. I do this because I love it. I get to stay home with my own children (which I don't always love btw) and I get to be part of developing some other amazing kids. I choose the families I want to work with and am not afraid to dismiss the ones I don't. I don't do it as a money maker. It's not... we all know that.

All of my families treat me very well. So for one of them to make an inocent comment about a card is not even something that makes me think twice. As a matter of fact, I wish I knew all of their birthdays, because they make it a point to know mine, and my childrens. And the look on that little guys face when he gave his card to his mom was awesome! How can that be a bad thing?

I don't spend my free time planning. I have free play planned into my day and I spend that time working on what's next. I believe in a 9 hr day. I do very llittle between the time daycare closes and the time it opens. I don't even do the dishes on Friday night, that's my full night off of everything.

My issue with this thread and those who commented is very simple. It was a request for craft ideas. If you were interested in looking for others opinions on parents asking us to go above and beyond then it should have been a new thread. I understand sometimes threads take a wrong turn. The turn this one made stopped those who probably had great ideas from posting them.

Comments started very hard and fast and they felt accusing to me too. Taking a simple card request and making into a debate of how much we do in a day.

You are all wonderful providers I'm sure... and for those who didn't offer craft ideas, it's unfortunate that you immediately went on the defensive instead helping a fellow provider out.

[sunnydays]

A & B, I totally agree that flexibility is needed in home daycare. I have tons of flexibility and often do activities, crafts, etc spur of the moment because the kids ask for it or a question from a child leads to a great activity, etc etc etc. I don't think most of us have a problem with that, but rather the way it is assumed by a parent that it's no big deal to do this.
But, more importantly...I actually wasn't going to post again as this thread is getting rather long.....but I cannot let this go. You said that you don't do daycare as a "money-maker". Well, I am sorry, but I DO! There is no way, much as a I love kids, that I would take in 5 kids every day ll day if I were not making money doing it. Perhaps that' s why I value things like paid stat holidays, paid vacation days, and paid personal days and being paid a decent rate on time and without any argument from parents. I work HARD in this job. I deserve to be paid fairly and to be able to afford to support my family. That is why I am doing it. To stay home and to make a living while raising my kids. I love what I do and find it very rewarding watching the kids grow and thrive....but there is NO way I would do it for free or even for the extremely low rates some providers charge. I would find that demoralizing and it would not be worth putting all of this time and energy into. Every time a daycare provider says they are not in it for the money, we all take a collective step backwards. It reaffirms the public view that we should not want to be paid well...that the pure joy of looking at those little faces and wiping those little bums should be enough. For me, there is no job joyful enough that I would submit myself to these demands and not be financially compensated for it. If I wanted a job like that, I would be a volunteer.

[monkeymama]

A & B, I totally agree that flexibility is needed in home daycare. I have tons of flexibility and often do activities, crafts, etc spur of the moment because the kids ask for it or a question from a child leads to a great activity, etc etc etc. I don't think most of us have a problem with that, but rather the way it is assumed by a parent that it's no big deal to do this.
But, more importantly...I actually wasn't going to post again as this thread is getting rather long.....but I cannot let this go. You said that you don't do daycare as a "money-maker". Well, I am sorry, but I DO! There is no way, much as a I love kids, that I would take in 5 kids every day ll day if I were not making money doing it. Perhaps that' s why I value things like paid stat holidays, paid vacation days, and paid personal days and being paid a decent rate on time and without any argument from parents. I work HARD in this job. I deserve to be paid fairly and to be able to afford to support my family. That is why I am doing it. To stay home and to make a living while raising my kids. I love what I do and find it very rewarding watching the kids grow and thrive....but there is NO way I would do it for free or even for the extremely low rates some providers charge. I would find that demoralizing and it would not be worth putting all of this time and energy into. Every time a daycare provider says they are not in it for the money, we all take a collective step backwards. It reaffirms the public view that we should not want to be paid well...that the pure joy of looking at those little faces and wiping those little bums should be enough. For me, there is no job joyful enough that I would submit myself to these demands and not be financially compensated for it. If I wanted a job like that, I would be a volunteer.

Thank you sunnydays. Sums up my thoughts exactly!

[playfelt]

Some days we have flexible schedules and some days we don't because I have big plans already made. It was rude of the dad to assume that what I had planned for the day was less important than what he had planned for me for the day - um my daycare, my plans. Does it take much to have a child make a card no - but it would be a piece of paper folded in half with me printing Happy Birthday Mom on it and child scribbling with crayons on it taking only a few minutes while I made lunch and not detracting from our day. The other kids would get to do one too.

Actually I would probably just do it for all of them and write To Someone Special on the front and then let them draw on the inside as they wanted. I would not turn it into a craft that used my supplies, etc. as that is not what I am paid to do.

[apples and bananas]

I traced the boys hands... I left him to colour them... I cut them out during quiet time (took all of 2 min) Then I had him cut a straight line of paper. I folded it and wrote "this much" On it. On one hand I wrote "I Love You" Then we glued the hands to each end of the straight paper and he had a nice little card that when opened said, I love you this much.

Thank you to the person who pm'd me their pinterest board and I found it there.

[momofnerds]

I cut out 3 hearts and made a book, dcg colored and glued and used glitter (glue and glitter are only used when the babies are sleeping) she's so proud. You can't bottle up that grin thats for sure! I like the hand idea.

[apples and bananas]

I cut out 3 hearts and made a book, dcg colored and glued and used glitter (glue and glitter are only used when the babies are sleeping) she's so proud. You can't bottle up that grin thats for sure! I like the hand idea.

What a great idea! Thanks for sharing. That might work for shamrocks too. A little glitter and glue goes a long way!

[KellyP]

At what point does "Wowing clients" become enabling them?

Whether the provider minded making a card or not is not really relevent. What I think IS relevent is that the father actually asked/expected the provider to do it.

To me that says NOT my responsibility or portrays the attitude that he is asking his "hired help" to do something he didn't prioritize into his schedule.

Bet his wife would be super proud to know that the child's caregiver made the card rather than dad and child not only making a card for their beloved family member but making some really cool memories of time spent together instead.

Going above and beyond is one thing. Do it if you really want to. I have no issues with that.

But when all is said and done, I believe the lesson you just taught dcd or dcg for that matter is other people will always pick up the slack for their inability to prioritize. Enabling at it's finest.

That is precisely why child care providers are often shown so little respect in my opinion.

[apples and bananas]

I can see your point. However,

I don't think we can compare fireworks and a light show to a 5 minute card.

If I didn't have time to do it, i would have simply said to the child. Well, let's see if we have time, but we have a pretty packed day today.

I don't think it's up to me to teach the father that he needs to spend more time with his son. My job starts when they enter my door and stops when they walk out of it. What they do on their own time is really not my business.

As much as you say "That is precisely why child care providers are often shown so little respect in my opinion. " I say.... this is exactly why I put my child in a home daycare when I was working. They recieved more one on one attention. No, I would never ask a teacher or center care to do a quick card, but that's the advantage of home daycare. Yes, I have a daily schedule, but there's always room for flexability. I'm not bound by it.

I don't think taking on a request from a parent is enabling anyone. I think it's helpful... and nice.