Birthday Idea for a Mom

[KellyP]

At what point does "Wowing clients" become enabling them?

Whether the provider minded making a card or not is not really relevent. What I think IS relevent is that the father actually asked/expected the provider to do it.

To me that says NOT my responsibility or portrays the attitude that he is asking his "hired help" to do something he didn't prioritize into his schedule.

Bet his wife would be super proud to know that the child's caregiver made the card rather than dad and child not only making a card for their beloved family member but making some really cool memories of time spent together instead.

Going above and beyond is one thing. Do it if you really want to. I have no issues with that.

But when all is said and done, I believe the lesson you just taught dcd or dcg for that matter is other people will always pick up the slack for their inability to prioritize. Enabling at it's finest.

That is precisely why child care providers are often shown so little respect in my opinion.

[apples and bananas]

I can see your point. However,

I don't think we can compare fireworks and a light show to a 5 minute card.

If I didn't have time to do it, i would have simply said to the child. Well, let's see if we have time, but we have a pretty packed day today.

I don't think it's up to me to teach the father that he needs to spend more time with his son. My job starts when they enter my door and stops when they walk out of it. What they do on their own time is really not my business.

As much as you say "That is precisely why child care providers are often shown so little respect in my opinion. " I say.... this is exactly why I put my child in a home daycare when I was working. They recieved more one on one attention. No, I would never ask a teacher or center care to do a quick card, but that's the advantage of home daycare. Yes, I have a daily schedule, but there's always room for flexability. I'm not bound by it.

I don't think taking on a request from a parent is enabling anyone. I think it's helpful... and nice.

[Other Mummy]

Wow...who would have thought that the most benign title "Birthday Idea for a Mom" would evoke 7 pages on this forum !!! BTW...off topic, but I'm digging apples and banana's new avatar

[Momof4]

Wow, apples and bananas, look at all the very intelligent caregivers who took time out of their busy days to help and advise you. I hope after you calm down you will come back to this thread and read every single word because there is a valuable stash of information hidden in all the posts that could help you so much if you read them with an open mind. Same goes for all the other new providers who think it's all sunshine and roses still. No, this isn't about a card, it's about the principal of the entire thing.

I've raised my children and have gone past the birthday with the 5 at the front and I'm still proud to say that I learn something from others every single day, about running my daycare and about life in general. If you close your mind you are doomed.

Now there are always going to be the people who are proud they fart rainbows and don't see that other people are actually pushing them around. There are always going to be the people like me who want to learn to do a better job every day and are proud that they are standing behind their contract and not being pushed around any more after a lifetime of being pushed around. There are always going to be the babysitter type, goofing off, and hence the parents who come to us with wide eyes after they realize they were promised one thing and it was all lies. We are all different. But we are here to help each other.

You came to this forum and asked for advice. We gave you lots of advice. Good luck to you if you don't heed at least some of the fantastic advice that was given to you.

[apples and bananas]

Wow, apples and bananas, look at all the very intelligent caregivers who took time out of their busy days to help and advise you. I hope after you calm down you will come back to this thread and read every single word .

I have not only come back to the thread, but I've been commenting all the way along. You didn't see that? I'm not convinced that you've read every single word based on that comment.

I have seen lots of opinions and I've given lots of opinions... but little advise.

And for the record, there was never anything to calm down from. I'm not sure I understand what the point of your post was.

OTher mummy... I agree, the title is a little misleading now isn't it. Wouldn't it have been wonderful if it was 7 pages of useful ideas... much like I asked for to begin with. Oh well. Some very intellegent and great caregivers PM'd (as I've already stated) and I got a great craft idea from that. And my child left glowing and very proud of himself that he made something wonderful for mom.

Regarding my avatar... someone made an off handed comment about a unicorn in and around page 3 so I thought I'd just fit the part.

[Spixie33]

I have been reading this thread and really enjoying the different viewpoints and points raised.

Personally I see nothing wrong with other providers expanding on the thread and taking it in a different direction. Some people stayed on topic and others raised other points. The other points raised were still in relation to the original post and how other providers would handle the situation. Hearing how others would handle a similar situation is the whole beauty of this thread. That is how threads work and there were good and thoughtful points raised.

I had a day a couple of weeks ago where we did some finger-painting and then the next day the parent dropped off his daughter and said " Make me another one of those cute paintings today."

Um.....I am not doing finger-painting or painting two days in a row. That would be repetitive. I just smiled and wished him a good day and didn't do it or give in to the pressure to produce more artwork. It was a nice, mild winter day so we spent extra time outside instead of crafting. The fresh air is much better for them and makes them much happier and I am worried about what makes for a fun/successful day for the kids.

[Momof4]

Really? Really? A & B Really? Ok, I'm done!

[KingstonMom]

Holy Cow!! Am I the only one that is with A&B on this one???

She was simply asking our opinions on craft ideas and you jump down her throat.
I hope you all feel better sleeping tonight knowing that you have said what you said?!

[dodge__driver11]

Deleted comment....

[KellyP]

Holy Cow!! Am I the only one that is with A&B on this one???

She was simply asking our opinions on craft ideas and you jump down her throat.
I hope you all feel better sleeping tonight knowing that you have said what you said?!

If after 7 pages of great advice, awesome perspectives and a whole lot of opinions, you are still the "ONLY one" with A&B on this one, THAT alone should say something.

Also, I can't speak for others but I sleep very well at night. I said NOTHING that was rude or offensive and if neither you nor OP really and truly understood what other providers were trying to say, then YOU are the one who should have issues sleeping.

Doing special and going above and beyond what child CARE should really mean is hard enough as it is. Being asked to do more on top of all of that is rediculous and really very very sad.

NONE of my daycare parents would dream of asking me to do more than I already do for their child. They value my services and the quality of care I provide and not once have I been asked for more on top of that.

Guess I just have parents who "get it". I dont know.