Comment from a NON Daycare parent...

[Spixie33]

So my son is having a playdate today and the mom who drops off tells me
"YOu are so lucky to do daycare so you can be home all day. I barely get anything done around my house because I am so busy working during the day."



I laugh and say that taking care of 5 kids a day actually means I have no time even though I am home and that my house is a disaster zone at the end of the day whereas she comes home to her home the same way she left it in the morning.



She did not look convinced. I swear she has the mental picture of me sprawling on the couch all day sipping coffee while the kids quietly play peaceful and quiet and then me doing my household chores and having the house spotless while the dcks entertain themselves.

I was totally sputtering and knew only another daycare provider could understand how ludicrous her perception was versus the reality of our houses being used and abused, us being pulled into 5 different directions and children's needs at once, the crafting, singing, entertaining, programming, and food prep and clean up we have to do during our long days.

[dodge__driver11]

I think it would have took everything in me to be like "What the hell are you talking about?" LOL

I usually say, "You're welcome to come and fill in for the day if you'd like."

The subject never comes up again. LMAO

[mimi]

Oh where to start LOL.......because my home is where my business is, I have to make sure that it is kept up to a certain level of cleanliness everyday. I do not have the luxury of working outside the home and can leave my house "as is" till I can get to it.
Yes, I think some parents think the kids just sit on the floor playing blocks all day with cherubs flying around their heads while we have all this time to "clean"
If I have some free time I have ALOT better stimulating things to do besides clean.....there is a brain in this head.
While I do have alot of fun with the dck's, it is still my job and it is work being ever vigilant of 5 active little ones. While I respect the difficulties everyone has with their different jobs, I would love for a parent who makes a comment like that to spend a day in my shoes.

[Momof4]

Oh dear Spixie, that woman would have heard an earful from me. At interviews I stress to the parents that my days are far from over after the children go home and I still have so much work to do it's insane. And I keep mentioning every once in a while to parents when it's taking them a while to get their child bundling at pickup that they should imagine what it's like to get 5 children bundled to go play outside. We all have to make sure the general public is aware that we work damn hard all the time and we are not women of leisure. Ugh!

[ladyjbug]

That woman is projecting her guilt on you for not being at home with her kid. That's all those comments are really saying. If you do want to respond, how about a serious one?

"I guess you're right. Sometimes I do have a chance to take care of some housework if the day allows. Some times I take advantage of it if nap time goes well, and sometimes my kids want me to be part of their game and the housework can wait. By the way, this isn't luck. It's a conscious choice for me to be there for my kids as they are growing up by any means necessary. In the process I take care of other little ones desperately in need of care while their moms are at work in order to be able to be here for mine. It's actually pretty hard work to manage the ins and outs of five little ones besides my own - quite a balancing act, if you will with no luxuries like "play-dates" or "me time" to ease the burden- but it is important to me to be here at home with my children. I know someone like you may not think much of me for not "working" the way you do, and I can read it in your face and in your tone, but these little moments with my children mean more than any high-priced salary ever could, and I will not miss any one of them."

Look her in the eye and don't break the stare. Let her break the stare. And then you close the door. You are doing very important work and should not be devalued in that way.

[Other Mummy]

I like ladybug's response to a totally stupid, ignorant comment like that. I personally would have said.....

" It's wonderful, where else can I drink my espresso coffee, kick back on my sofa, put my feet up and watch my soaps all day long whilst the kiddies quietly amuse themselves with books and puzzles". Then If I really have some time in the afternoon, I'll give myself a pedicure and rearrange my sock drawer." ....but then again, I tend to be a smart ass who will sling around a passive aggressive remark or two. But only when I'm really ticked off. That comment would have ticked me off. A lot.

[mimi]

So well said ladyjbug

[momofnerds]

sadly I get comments like this from my mother. Drives me crazy, she's the one that is retired and does nothing all day and her house is a mess.

I did have an interview and the first thing out of the girls mouth was "wow your house is clean" What they don't understand that I have to keep my house clean because of the kids, they lay on the floor and drop food so I need to keep it clean. I would love to leave my house and come home the same way I found it.