I would go with Play and Learn here...when everyone else is done would be a good rule of thumb. Otherwise, I'd say that for a 3 yo, twenty mins isn't unreasonable.
Well it's day 3 and still she won't eat a thing! Her Mom told me yesterday that she doesn't put veg and fruit on her plate but on a seperate plate. If she wants it then she can have it! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO frustrated! I put a seperate plate out today and she still would not eat! I'm getting to the point that she can send her lunch! The same Mom sent little one to daycare today with a tylonol bottle to play with! WTF I took i6t away and I'm the mean one! That just sends the wrong message to all the other kids that it's ok to play with pill bottle. HUGE NO NO!
Hubby is not working right now and I need the income but I'm really getting stressed! Hubby goes for a huge interview Monday one that will greatly impact our lives. Anyone who prays please send one his way this weekend!
My DH is the same age and she has to eat whats on her plate period!
I based my time at the table on when the others are finished. There is always the one that gulps down food and is done in a matter of minutes and then the rest of them including the just sulking ones. I take them down as they finish. That I call it when those that ate are done and simply clear the table. Any complaining and they simply told time is up they should have eaten when they had the chance. It puts a time limit on sulking and stalling this way. Not eating and stalling is not a way to prevent naptime from starting. I do it very casually just clear the plates, wash them up and remove bibs and that is it. They get the hint and some protest but only the first couple of times. I will give a reminder saying time is almost up and time to stop talking and eat faster or something like that - aimed at those that haven't eaten enough.
At the same time I don't believe in keeping the lunch and serving it at snack. It was a one time available thing and that is it. At snack time they get very little anyways as it is to hold them to the next meal not replace the one they missed. There are no seconds on snack ever.
I don't fight with food ever. You can't make a kid eat. I serve and they either eat or don't. I have one kid who will go all day without eating because I won't give treats for afternoon snack which she tries to hold out for if they haven't eaten one healthy thing at morning snack or lunch. She tries the old, "I'm thirsty and want some milk." routine too to try and fill up on milk but I switch it to water on days she refuses to eat which usually motivates her to eat something. I flat out tell the parents it is a power struggle and battle I refuse to take part in and that's all there is to it. I will win or they go hungry.
I always keep all the kids at the table until everyone is done and cleaned up and then we all go to the playroom together (this is partly because they are all little and cannot play unsupervised). I won't force anyone to eat either, but try to serve meals that have a couple of components so that everyone eats something (ex. soup and cornbread and tomatoes). I don't think it's fair of parents to ask you to not serve something that they are serving (and sending with) the child! Also, I have a policy of no food being brought from home; that is because I don't want kids coming with treats and then everyone else will want some too. I serve the same thing to everyone, no substitutions. I also don't serve dessert, just once every couple of weeks I will make cookies or something as a treat.