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  1. #1
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    Eating Disorder? Or just stubbornness?

    I have a 7 1/2 year old girl coming to my dayhome. This is her second year and I was hoping to see an improvement in her eating, but not so far. This girl refuses to taste or try anything new. For example, the only cereal she will eat is fruit loops. She has never tried any other kind, so i tried to get her to taste one plain cheerio. She finally put the cheerio on her tongue (after 30 min at the table) then just started crying and spit it out before she could even taste it. She absolutely refuses to try even a tiny little taste. She won't eat any milk products (milk, yogurt, ice cream, pudding) but she also admits that she has never tasted them either. She won't eat any kind of soup, and has never tasted it. She seems to live on white bread, peanut butter, and cookies. The only vegetable she will eat is carrots, and the only fruit is apples.
    She decides that she doesn't like something based on the way it looks. I can understand that in a three year old, but not almost eight years old! Is this just stubbornness? or some sort of disorder?
    I keep thinking of suggesting to her mom that maybe she needs some help, but haven't decided if it is my place to say something.

  2. #2
    Euphoric !
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    It sounds behavioural not a disorder. If the parents are supporting her eating habits at home then you can only do so much at d.c. I would ask the parents about her eating habits at home and what their approach is to nutrition. Is she body conscious or make comments about what others are eating?

  3. #3
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    It sounds behavioural to me as well. My son has issues, one of which being Aspergers, and there are times when getting him to try something new is about as pleasant as pulling teeth. The only way I get him to try new things is to offer new foods over and over. Also I assure him that if he tries it and truly does not like it, I will not force him to eat it. Over time he's discovered more foods that he likes, and it becomes easier to have him try new foods because he realizes that he won't hate everything he tries.

    Sometimes kids with behavior issues are very intimidated by trying new foods. It's possible she has texture issues, too. But as torontokids said if her parents are not working on this at home, you are fighting a losing battle. Problems like this are tackled through consistency and her parents have got to be on the same page.

    I also would sit down and talk with her parents. What are her eating habits like at home?

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  5. #4
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    No, she doesn't appear to be body conscious. She is very thin, but tall for her size, so she must be getting enough calcium (her parents give her orange juice with calcium) Her older sister will try anything and doesn't have any eating issues. Her parents admit that she won't try new foods. I think her parents have given up on getting her to try foods. Her mom told me that the only thing she will eat at xmas/thanksgiving/easter dinners is a plain bun and nothing else. They rarely eat out because their daughter won't eat anything at the restaurants except bread.

  6. #5
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    This is crazy! If I were them I would leave her at home with a babysitter and go out to eat without her. Why should the entire family suffer because of her pickyness? This child is running the entire family! The parents need to take charge and stop catering to this kind of ridiculous behaviour! Stop serving her the things she likes and allowing her to fill up on juice and bread. Serve healthy foods only and if she eats she eats, if not she goes to bed hungry. Guaranteed she will not starve to death. Once she realizes she isn't going to be offered an alternative, she will start eating what is offered. No coaxing, threatening, rewarding, punishing for eating. Simply do not offer alternatives. This child is going to end up with a serious illness like diabetes or nutiritional deficiencies and it will be her parents' fault for letting her decide what she eats.


    Quote Originally Posted by ilovetolive View Post
    No, she doesn't appear to be body conscious. She is very thin, but tall for her size, so she must be getting enough calcium (her parents give her orange juice with calcium) Her older sister will try anything and doesn't have any eating issues. Her parents admit that she won't try new foods. I think her parents have given up on getting her to try foods. Her mom told me that the only thing she will eat at xmas/thanksgiving/easter dinners is a plain bun and nothing else. They rarely eat out because their daughter won't eat anything at the restaurants except bread.

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  8. #6
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    yes its the parents. Its called laziness. I have a dcg like this too. she's younger. I guess its easier to feed junk then to make a child eat. I have no idea what to do either.

  9. #7
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    I have to say reading some of these replies, I am so happy for those of you who have never had a child of your own with issues around eating. As daycare providers we do spend a lot of time with our dc children, however, we still have not walked a mile in our dc parents' shoes.

    I am a dc provider, but I am also a parent who has a child for whom eating has been a struggle since day ONE of his life. Luckily, he enjoys lots of foods now at 2 1/2, but there were DAYS where he would barely eat. Were we lazy, NO? A vast part of our life revolved around trying to get our son to eat. During that journey we learned of several issues that were adding to his feeding struggles...physical issues that you could not see, and could have easiliy be contributed to behaviour.

    It would have broken my heart to have been called lazy. I love this board for being able to seek and give advice, but please remember, these forums are also viewable by parents (maybe some of our dc parents are even here). I think we can ask for advice in a professional manner without finger pointing.

    I would sit down with the dc parents and have a conversation to find out what they have tried. If they have spoken to anyone about their eating habits, and how they feel about their daughters' eating.

    I am sorry if this came off as harsh, and it is not just related to this posting in particular. I just think we need to always keep in the back of our minds that we are professionals and we never know who may be reading our posts and the effect they may have. <3
    Last edited by MonkeyMamma; 03-11-2013 at 08:42 AM.

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  11. #8
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    Children know how to manipulate, plain and simple. Busy parents who are run off their feet tend to cave into their children's demands to get through their day. I was that Mom! I admit it! We should have our own support group, Busy Mom's Anonymous! I worked all day at the office, drove home to starving children, had to get them to all their activities, then bathed and into bed and start getting ready for the next morning with lunches, laundry and tried to fit in a couple of hours of sleep. Of course the children got their way once in a while and manipulated me and after they turned 20 they admitted to a lot of things I still wish I didn't know about. Ugh, teenagers. A whole new story.

    Anyway, I don't like it when people judge others so when I have a picky eater in the daycare I talk to the parents daily about the food issues. I had a little boy for 3 1/2 years who wouldn't eat food that touches like a casserole or meatloaf. I have a little girl who only eats about 5 veggies but I keep trying things and the Mom and I talk about it often, she's trying too. I have a new baby who doesn't like fruit, but last week she eventually ate some apples, then some pears, then some bananas and her Mom was flabbergasted because it's the first fruit she's eaten in her life!

    So I tailor my menu to the foods I know the children like as much as possible but it's going to be all home made, nutritious food with all the food groups involved every single day and they are going to get used to eating what I put in front of them without question. I give them small amounts and then they can have more if they want more and I'm not scraping a whole plateful of food into the garbage, just 1/2 a plateful.

    This can turn into a real problem, been there done that, even with my own children. I learned a trick of pulverizing veggies and hiding them into meatloaf and mac n cheese and pasta dishes, etc. I don't ever cave into my dckids, but I can completely understand why the parents cave in.
    Frederick Douglass
    It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.

  12. #9
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    It is also important not to give up too early in that they say it can take severl - 20 - 50 times for some kids of looking at, smelling or maybe even trying a food before they determine that it is ok. That is a lot of tossed food for sure and a lot of hungry tummies while they make up their minds. The trick is finding that balance between new food on the plate and one thing they do like.

    Yes there are some true food fetishes out there that kids develop but more of them are from lack of exposure to new foods, textures, expectations - ie no alternatives till next meal. That means fine if child doesn't eat lunch then make sure snack is something they like - not give them double servings but make sure they at least get something they will eat. So they barely get enough nutrients for the day, they get to be fussy and you don't cave and hopefully the phase passes.

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  14. #10
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    I remember a post by Reggio which was about a child who only ate chicken fingers and about three other items and the child ended up with major health issues one if them being diabetes .... I think I would google this issue and find out the long term effects and then open a dialogue with the parents and give them the information .... Cause they may not realize the long term effects and maybe they can push a little harder. For my own kids if they leave the table with out eating it becomes their next meal. No exceptions !

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