Need More Advice. Would This Bother You?

[Sandbox Sally]

Great advice, everyone. Thank you so much.

[BlueRose]

If your family is asking you to terminate, then its not you. I would find a replacement them terminate. As for a notice just say something like:

After a great deal of consideration I have decided that my daycare is not the best fix for xxxxxxx.
Xxxxxx's last day of care will be _______________. I wish you the best of luck finding a more suite daycare.


I don't think you need to go into much detail.

[cfred]

That was a pretty mean thing for him to say, though I can understand where he's coming from. For a parent, who isn't familiar with this business and the stages of transition, as we are, I would imagine it can be quite distressing to see your child flipping out at the sight of her provider. That being said, it's totally not you! I've seen it sooooo many times, as have you. My nephew attends my daycare now and has been since June. For the first couple weeks, it was tough, with him crying quite a lot. At one point, as soon as he saw my house, he'd just lose the plot entirely. And this is my own nephew! He loves me and I know he does and is completely fine now...hardly says goodbye to my sister. But it certainly upset her to see him so upset. I know she was wondering what was up, but she trusted me when I said it was completely normal and it would pass.....which it did. Now he often cries when he's forced to leave

I think the letter Bluerose posted is perfect. But replace them first if you have time. It may be that they're thinking of pulling anyway, so try to beat them to the punch and save a few bucks.

Good luck!

[Skysue]

Just based on his comment, it clearly shows his lack of respect for you. I would terminate and be honest. Just tell them that respect is paramount for your working relationship and they already have 2 strikes so early on and you have your reputation to uphold.

Trust me red flags are all around you will feel the weight of the world off your shoulders when there gone.


Good luck!

[daycarewhisperer]

Dear parents,

Due to your 11 month old crying at drop off, I'm unable to continue to provide care for your children. This notice is immediately in affect for your 11 month old and a two weeks notice for your 3 year old. If you choose not to use the notice for your 3 year old all advance payments will gladly be refunded.

[Spixie33]

It sounds like you want to terminate....I would say something or write something along the lines of

"It is not an easy decision but I am very concerned that Susie is not settling into our daycare or into our group the way I had hoped so I think it would be best for everyone if we discontinue our daycare arrangement. I have concerns that she will not be happy or thrive in this group and it is causing the other children some unrest when they see her upset. Ideally, I want everyone to have the best possible environment to come to every day and I feel like this is not a good fit. I would suggest an end date of ________."

I don't think the father's comment is that rude or that your comment was that bad. I think he was probably thinking out loud or just concerned about his little girl.
And I can feel your pain - there isn't really a good answer to that. I also think you are right about why she cries. She probably thinks of alphagetti as the mean person who takes her away from her parents every day.

I hope your day gets better from here on in

[mom-in-alberta]

Clearly, it isn't just you... Your family is feeling the same thing about this family. I think it's time to say goodbye. Life is too short to *dread* the days that they come. They have been coming (well, the older child) for a few months now, so it should be getting better. Doesn't sound like it is, though.
I do think that he was rude. Of course, he is concerned. But there is a better way to express it. And way to go, Mom. Just make excuses for your a-hole of a husband!! There is NO reason to be mean to the person who cares for HIS babies.
Depending on the tonality, maybe you were snarky back. It might have come off as more of a joke, though, too. Hard to say. I don't blame you either way. Drop off in the morning stresses me out. I am getting my kids out the door, and dealing with sleepy dck coming in at the same time. I am not at my best, in all honesty.

[Momof4]

So sorry you are in turmoil Alphagetti. I just terminated a family last month after trying and trying, issue after issue and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do and it was a difficult decision to make. Like your situation it wasn't wham - you're outta here, it was a whole lot of grey area type things. But I interviewed a wonderful family, signed them on, then terminated the old family so I was covered. But the old family did NOT take it well at all but they didn't return for the 2 weeks notice I offered as per my contract. That was good.

You know what? We are happy and content and the daycare has a whole new feeling without that child here. Is it me? I don't think so because all the children are happier too. Is it you? Does it matter? No, not if your children can pick up on all the stress. We deserve to be happy and we always have to be fair and honest but when parents don't GET IT we're bashing our head on the wall.

Bluerose & Spixie wrote good letters. Keep it short and business like and don't explain or get into anything emotional. Good luck.

[Sandbox Sally]

Thanks everyone

[Momof4]

What did you say to them? "due to a buncha little stuff, I'm tossing you"? That's what I basically feel like I have to say to them at this point.

I am resurrecting this thread, because I am having the DAY FROM HELL with the siblings today. I actually cried this morning, it was that awful. My other dcb even said to me, "why don't you tell their mom that they can't come here any more?". He's FIVE lol.

We've had four separate incidents just this morning. In the course of these incidents, dcb has

-hit a 19 mo in the back of the head with a toy
-kicked me in the stomach
-screamed in my face
-grabbed his baby sister around the waist and tackled her to the ground
-yelled NO several times at me
-refused to come in from outdoor play

I am ripping my hair out here. I have an interview on Monday morning with a family who are looking for full time care for their two kids (school age), and if I like them and they like me, I am terminating. This morning, mom said again that she had no idea why he acts like this with me, because he's never tried to hit her or kick her. I've seen him hit AND kick her at pick up. So, there's also that...

Kick me in the butt, fellow dcp's! I have to let this family go, and I am so chicken to do it.

Holy crap, that is not GREY AREAS, that is violence and according to my contract, grounds for immediate termination without any problems. I had problems terminating my problem family because it wasn't anything as cut and dried as blatant violence. Oh Alphagetti, I hope you have terminated by now!