Parent on Vacation

[sunnydays]

I think for me, it bothers me when I see it effecting the kids in a negative way because they are craving attention from the parents and not getting it. I too totally understand that parents need some time for themselves and I am truly happy for a mom who has a day off and decides to take herself to the spa and recharge her batteries...I actually think this benefits the kids because mom is likely to be in a great mood after that R&R. However, when every day is about "me time" instead of spending time with their kids, that is when the problem comes in. And, although I get that doing chores without little ones around is so much easier and faster, I am actually sad for this generation of kids who NEVER see their parents doing cooking or cleaning and never get to be a part of that. I have always done everythign I need to do with my kids present...they like to help sometimes (my 4.5 year old LOVES to fold laundry and put it away for me and my 2.5 year old LOVES to vaccuum) and other times they entertain themselves while I do the chores. I just see kids growing up with an unrealistic view of life...as in, it ALWAYS revolves around them because parents do the chores, cooking etc before picking up the kids and then when the kids arrive it is all attention on the kids until they go to bed. I am not against giving kids attention, but it is little wonder kids think they are the centre of the universe...parents teach them that they are! I really worry about where our society is heading with this to be honest....

[Artsand crafts]

Me time is ok, but there are parents that seem they want to stay away from their kids (maybe is not the case, but they make it hard to think otherwise). I used to have a teacher when I started with an agency and was open 11 hrs. Everyday the child would stay the 11 hrs with me and occasionally the mom will be late. So the kid will stay up to 12 hours sometimes. He will come during PA days, school vacation days, etc the FULL time. The kid was hitting, pulling hair, etc... I was about to term them when they announced they were leaving. I was very inexperience (I did not even knew other providers) that never had the guts to tell anything (I was even afraid I will loose my other agency kids). After that I kept in touch with the mom for a while. After me, the poor kid was with a nanny (who left after less than 4 months), and 2 daycare centers (where he was asked to leave). Even, when some think that does not affect us, it really does and what about the poor kid? He was aggressive, but I think he escalated his aggression if he could not stay in 2 daycare centers.

[Momof4]

I honestly don't care what a parent is doing while their child is here at daycare as long as they tell me exactly how I can reach them in an emergency. If they are taking a day off it's really nice that they make it a shorter day, say 7 hours instead of 9. I don't judge the parents honestly but don't you think those children know what is going on? Don't you think it affects their behaviour when they know their parent is at home? What I've noticed so far in my HDCP experience is that the most difficult children are the ones who have the least amount of time with their parents. That's just a fact.

[momofnerds]

I think the reason it gets us going so much is because it feels like we are not respected. Think about it, the parents go on vacation and leave their kids with us, why us, why not with gma or auntie or take them with them. Why because they know we won't say anything about it, and how its wrong and this is the reason bobby seems to act up. They know we won't say that its crappy parenting on their part and that they need to spend time with their kids. Thats why they leave the kids with us. No matter what anyone says, I know it bothers all of us.

I'm starting to find it more and more common with people. I have never heard of such nonsense till I started this job. I too have heard all sorts of excuses, but really it comes down to the "me generation" if you think its bad now, imagine the next set of kids, they don't know what the word "no" means. Why is it all of a sudden that parents need me time, when I have bobby 12 hours a day, what makes their job any more stressfull than mine.

[sunnydays]

I actually agree with Daycarewhisperer on this one. I find this whole "quality time" thing a bit ridicululous to be honest. So parents do all of their work, chores, errands etc and hten spend half an hour of "quality time"with the child which is all about teaching him he is the centre of the universe, more important than anything else and parents have nothing else to worry about or do in life than play with their little angels. That was my point with doing chores with children present. Children learn that there is balance. Parents have many things that have to be done. Not every moment has to be focused on the child. Children learn to entertain themselves, to help out, to respect the fact that they are part of the family but not the focus of the family or universe for that matter. It is good to pay attention to kids and do things with them, but unrealistic that this "quality" time should be the ONLY time spent with the kids.

[playfelt]

One of the reasons I started doing an item of housework during freeplay goes back to when I had a single mom in care who used to complain that all weekend her son would whine about wanting to come back to my house cause all I did was play with him. I started making them play by themselves during freeplay while I chose my own activity for freeplay so they learned that adults have work to do to and our job in life is not to entertain them and that it is reality to do things like laundry and dusting and not just on Saturdays.

[playfelt]

It's quality in the sense that the parent picks up the child who hasn't seen the parent all day, gets home and says ok kid go watch tv or play by yourself or here's my iphone while I go change my clothes and make supper and put in a tub of laundry. The other option is child stays at daycare and plays with his friends while mom goes home and changes, puts supper in the oven and a tub of laundry in and then comes and gets the child so that when they get home they have time for a one on one cuddle and chat about the day before supper. Both scenerios take the same amount of time. Which one does do you think is going to seem to the child like they are more loved - the parent that is changing and cooking while they watch tv or the one that picks them up a half hour later but takes them home for special one on one time.