Next Step?

[2cuteboys]

I worked as a behavioral therapist before this, and I'd take being spit on over screaming.

The key is consistency, and getting parents on board. If you have an extra płaypen, I'd set that up somewhere not within the direct line of sight of the playroom or wherever she does it the most (but where you can still discreetly monitor her). When it starts up, take her there immediately, without giving her any attention, even eye contact. Try to get the other kids to ignore her as well, not even to look. Like others have said, when she finishes take her out, tell her "you can ask nicely to get the toy" or whatever she was screaming about. Avoid saying "don't scream" instead, give her a behavior to replace the screaming with. Try to engage her to show her what appropriate behavior gets. And when she screams again start all over. Eventually she'll realize that screaming not only doesn't get her what she was after, it doesn't get her attention either. It could be that the screaming started with her not getting toys, but if she's noticed that it gets her attention and she might be after that now.

Remember that it will get worse before it gets better! When she first realizes that it's not working, she'll escalate to see if that works instead. Be firm and consistent! Encourage the parents to do the same, it'll make the process so much shorter and smoother for you.

Good luck! I hope this helps!

[gcj]

yeah, I was also going to recommend putting her in a playpen until she stopped. Although she doesn't talk she should understand a simple explanation, like you're going here because you're screaming. When you're done, I'll come back and get you.

I'm sure you can fix this and keep your 2 full-timers. I wouldn't be surprised if through the years, there are different phases of trying-to-get a reaction from her. I had one like that. She was overall a great kid, but had some brutal phases! The parents and I were always on the same page, and overcame each and everyone.

[MichaelsMommy]

Thanks everyone for all of your great responses! I've spoken with my husband (who is also growing very impatient of the screaming for the hour he's home during the day) and we are going to wait and see how the rest of the week plays out. Unfortunately the time-out method away from the group just didn't work (she started to just scream and screech after a week of it and no longer will quiet down within a reasonable time.) If the ignoring starts to work (fingers crossed) then great, but if not, I think on Monday I will email the parents and set a two week time frame for this to be resolved, and then at the end of the two weeks, if this behavior is continuing, I will give them 2 weeks to find alternate care for the kids. It's not fair to me, my family, and my other daycare kids to have to listen to this...it's already been 3 weeks (ish) since this behavior started and I think what I'm proposing is reasonable...if anyone thinks it's not please please please let me know!

[Spixie33]

Yikes.....so sorry to hear you have this issue. It sounds like a nightmare.

I would do what the others suggested...separate her as soon as she starts and do not even make eye contact with her until she stops.

Then go and have fun with the other kids or put on louder music and dance or do something that shows her she is missing the fun and do not let on that her screaming is bothering you at all.

I think not getting any attention or reaction will put a stop to it. People only do what works and if she sees you are not bothered and everyone is still having fun then she should hopefully learn that she is wasting her energy

[Fun&care]

What works on one child might not with another. Personally I'm not sure that separating the child would work. I've tried that with my daughter before, with the intention of waiting for her to calm down before bringing her back to play, but that NEVER worked. She would get even more upset and would not calm down within a reasonable amount of time. It just doesn't work for some kids. I think you should try giving her a short explanation as to what she needs to do or say instead of screaming, then if she continues, ignore her, go play with the other kids and pretend your just having a jolly ole time. It must be very hard tho, cheers to you

[Momof4]

16 months is young for a timeout but I agree with the playpen time without toys so she learns that what she is doing is completely unacceptable and that she can have fun again when she stops her tantrum. She's old enough to understand simple instructions and language and old enough to learn this behaviour has to stop.

Your poor head! Everytime we have a new baby who screams I feel really bad for all the other children in the daycare too and I tell the parents how unfair it is for ALL of us. If the parents are giving in to the child's every whim at home she's old enough to know that works and it will only get worse.