Next Step?

[MichaelsMommy]

Hi All ! so not too long ago I had an annonysmus post posted about a screaming issue we are having here at day care. Over the last 3 weeks dcg has started screaming uncontrollably when she does not get her way, when she doesn't want to do something, or when the other kids don't share with her when she wants a toy right away. She will now scream, wait for me to look at her, and then look me right in the eye and scream even louder... I started using the "time-out" away from the group and it worked for a few days very successfully. Now, however she screams while in time-out away from the group...like repetitive high pitched squealing/screeching. We are mid way into a new week and the screaming has intensified in volume, and frequency. During yesterday's nap time non of the dcks could sleep as the screaming (not crying) was loud enough for everyone to hear. I called dcm who came immediately to pick up dcg because at I was concerned that there may be something wrong physically with like an ear infection or something else and that she should take her to the doctors for a quick check to make sure she's not sick. Anyways, at drop off today dcd was saying that mom and dad think this screaming could be due to teething, gas, or a new diaper rash that she has.....now I understand that no parent wants to hear that there child is having some issues, but this screaming has been progressively getting worse over the last three weeks and in my opinion, she isn't portraying any symptoms of illness that I can see (yes I know that I am not a doctor).......what is my next step? I have been dealing with this for 3 weeks now, and today I have stared to just ignore her frequent screams (harder to do than said!!) and it's been worse. We are a small home day care so a loud screamer is extremely disruptive...if she were in a larger facility with more children I'm guessing it would be more tolerable....I feel like I'm failing here an just want to have my pleasant day care, and my pleasant dcg back!! What would you do if time-out's, ignoring, nurturing stopped working and the screaming only got worse? Is it unreasonable for me to talk to the parents to set a date that we'd like to have resolved by and then consider having them source another day care facility if it's still continuing?

[DisneyPrincess]

Wow you must have major headaches I had a baby last year that for 5 months she was non stop crying and that alone was more then I could take, everyday I kept telling myself ''this is it i'm giving the 2 weeks its just not working'' but it finally just stopped.

How old is she again ??

Hope I could help you more, but in that case, I wouldnt keep her since its just not working and with no help from the parents... that makes it even less tolerable.

[MichaelsMommy]

She is only 16 months....so can't communicate using words just yet which I thought could be the problem, but it's seeming more and more defiant now in the way she is screaming/skreetching. I know that this is also a problem at home, as both parents have communicated that with me. They are wonderful clients to have, and they seem be really happy with me too. Sadly enough she and her sister are my two full timers so having to let one go, means the other will go with her

[playfelt]

It is becoming a problem because it is getting results. You said in your message that child screams, waits to be acknowledged, and then screams even louder for effect. Unfortuantely ignoring the screaming is the quickest way to make it stop. If you want to get my attention find another more acceptable method please not screaming. With a child 2 and up they would be told to use their words. For 16 months that likely won't happen but instead of collapsing in a devestated heap on the floor they could come to you for attention or something.

The parents need to also realize that this is why the screaming is working and do the same at home. No attention when the screaming is at the loudest.

[jazmic]

Ouch. It seems like terminating would be a difficult option. I don't have any tips other than to say invest in some ear plugs for now. That will at least take the edge off and help you stay sane until you can find a permanent solution.

[MichaelsMommy]

Thanks playfelt - today is day one of ignoring the screaming and although it seems worse, I'm hopeful that with some time ignoring is the solution!

[DisneyPrincess]

Yes as funny as its sounds.. the ear plugs are a interesting solution. That way you could ignore her to the point of her getting exhausted from screaming... hopefully. Although the other kids in the daycare would suffer

Post to replace if you must and only when replace, terminate. If you want to keep them, .... gee's I dont even know what else to say :O

[playfelt]

Yes the screaming will get worse before it gets better but the louder it gets the more she is realizing it is no longer working which is actually a good thing - or at least you can look at it that way and maybe it will help in enduring it. Warning - didn't say it wouldn't take a week or two or three, .....

[treeholm]

One of mine was a screamer when she started... I actually gave her that nickname. I could not understand how she didn't end up with laryngitis from screaming at the top of her lungs for 2 hours at a time! I've never heard a child with such powerful lungs. Anyway, I ignored her and it stopped after just a couple of weeks. 6 months later, she is an absolute delight!

[momofnerds]

the minute she would start I would send her to time out or the screaming corner or whatever you want to call it. I would let them scream as much as possible, when they are done they can join your group. Rinse and repeat. Sometimes I have kids who finish screaming only to rejoin the group and scream again and back to time out. It will take a while, but consistancy will work.