3 year old very possessive

[sunnydays]

Ugh...I really hate the "mine" thing...especially from a child that old! He is old enough to have learned better...but obviously hasn't. My guess is that his parents have cultivated this in him. They probably tell him he does not have share any of his toys with his brother, that his brother cannot enter "his" room, that many things at home belong to him and him only and he does not have to share. I see this often and it really makes me cringe. Ask the parents what they are doing at home to curb this behaviour and take it from there. If they are cultivating it, it will be an uphill battle for you. I am sorry, I am tired and don't have better advice, just empathy at this point because that was one of the many issues dcb I am terminating has!!!!!!!!!!!

[gcj]

I don't know...I can see where he's coming from. It's not okay and he has to learn, but this is an opportunity for you to teach him his first important life lesson! If they're both new to daycare that means that he hasn't been in this environment yet, so really doesn't get it. He went from being an only child, to having a baby to share his parents with, to someone who now wants toys that he wants to a house full of kids who want toys he wants. And let's face it, a toy has zero value until it's in someone else's hands!

Just explain and be consistent. I learned a magic question to teach them: "Can I have it when you're finished? Noone can ever say no to that. When you're finished means they don't want it anymore, so the answer is always yes. Then they just find something else while waiting for what they know they will get. When it's a new concept it takes a little time, but pretty soon you'll hear and see them doing this on their own all day long! It's beautiful. It has saved my sanity. So simple, yet so effective.