Refuses to say sorry

[playfelt]

I don't force the I'm sorry either. I do not like it when kids just mimic platitudes like robots. The truth is they are not sorry. They meant to do it and that is that - why force them to lie. Getting them to admit that what they did was wrong, not a nice way to treat a friend etc. is ok. But the children need their space and forcing the one to get in the face of the other and rehash what went on before for only a split second is like goading the other one into remembering to retaliate and there it escalates. What is done is done.

I am the same with most of those things we take as manners. I use them but I don't expect the kids to use them till they comprehend what they mean. Most will pick them up and just do it but I don't stand there holding out on giving them something till they say please and thank you. Again it has to be a learned response to have some meaning. Until children are 7 they have not reached the age of reason where they can deal with these kinds of abstract concepts with meaning so until then it is just practiced ritual.