I think I've reached a conclusion.. sometimes writing it all out makes things clearer! Since I do have an 'out' in 3 months (and she is only here once a week) I will accept her apology and make the best of it. The 'policy violation' has been documented should I have any further problems, so now I won't feel so bad if I terminate her in the future. I think she is sort of oblivious to all the other things, but this time since I called her out on it, I'm almost certain it won't happen again. Daycare is at a real shortage in this city and it would be difficult for her to find somebody since she has no job etc. I think the biggest reason I will let her stay is for her daughter's benefit, with all the other changes in her life right now and stress.. it would be terribly difficult on her and bruise her friendship with my daughter. So I am going to do it for the girls. BUT.. I will not tolerate any more violations and also since she has already refused care for the summer I will not allow her to change that (I will just tell I made other arrangements) and will not welcome her back in the Fall, she hasn't secured the spot and I will no longer hold it for her, I've also already told her since she took me from 5 days a week to 1 day, I retain the right to fill that spot (giving her the chance to claim it before giving it out, but at the 5 day rate).

Thanks again SO much. If I didn't have a natural end in sight, I would have to let her go because I have to have my own best interests and those of all the children (my own inc). And while I don't advocate taking on friends as clients, the one thing remains if they are true friends they will respect you and not take advantage of you.. I really do love my job.