So - I had sent her an e-mail (so I could have it in writing, I've learned verbal just does not work with these kinds of parents!) and I did lay out how wrong it was to do what she did and how devastating it could be to my own children (myself and husband) and all the other families in my care (and one after-school girl has a brother in another daycare... so it would be a vicious cycle) I don't feel like I can really use all the other issues to back up my decision formally as I haven't dealt with them formally before (other than sending multiple reminders to her for payment.. and a few other things like 'forgetting' to tell me that they were picking her up at school and I was panicking looking for her because she didn't get off the bus!) I am a super-responsible type person that leans to over protective. I am not a good match for these parents at all. But that said, I have not been clear enough with them so I felt this time I really needed to give it to them straight..
I was prepared for an angry reply, even no reply because then I could easily drop her.. but the apology threw me for a loop and the plea 'I hope this does not tarnish our relationship' I really wasn't prepared for that.. and with only 3 more months...
But that could make for a really long 3 months. I really really appreciate all this feedback as I feel like I keep going around in circles in my head! I am even losing sleep (I am SO worried about our families getting sick.. it's Easter weekend, our son has his 1st Communion tomorrow night and we have such a big weekend planned!) And I am just disgusted that somebody would send their kid to school sick like that.. and deliberately expose a whole daycare full of kids to something so horrible.. it's one thing when it comes on suddenly and it's an accidental exposure but totally different when you KNOW you are doing it.. AND she says in her e-mail back that the girl saw her doctor who said it's a virus and not contagious. I'm no doctor but I don't know how somebody could determine that without bloodwork and such.. I mean it's a virus, that's clear the child was feverish, had diarrhea, chills, vomiting, a cough and sneezing. I can't imagine how that could not be contagious.. sounds like BS to me. I can understand how some of those symptoms could be from something not contagious but not all of them.. and a quick visit into the Dr couldn't possibly explain it away without further testing. (maybe I should ask her for the note!)
The girl is 8, I couldn't put her in a play pen! But I did keep her on the step away from the other children until I could reach her. I have her mom, dad and a grandmother as her contacts - both Mom and Dad were out of town and dkm had gramma's car.. SIGH.. it took 45 mins to get a reply - the poor girl was shaking and sad - I should have dosed her myself with Tylenol.. but I wanted the mom to see how bad she actually was (I wasn't trying to be mean, our arrangement was a 4:00 pick up.. she got to my house at 3:45.. so at 4:00 I started trying to reach them and got them at 4:45..) I only feel bad now that I didn't just give her Tylenol to help her out.. but if I had of, dkm never would have believed me..

Anyways - I really feel better venting it all but mostly getting perspectives because I just keep going round and round.. spinning.. So a big THANKS