Child Stealing....long post sorry

[withtheweeones]

Hi all,
Has anyone ever had a child steal your toys?
I have a home daycare and i have 3 part time boys 2 (ages 3 and 1.5) come from 1130-430 and then i pick up their brother (7 years old) at 315 from school until 430 on thursdays and fridays. I guess about 2-3 months ago my son got some avengers (3yo would bring his brothers avengers and my son (2.5 yo) loved them so we got him some so there was less fighting)

Originally I had just the two little ones for abt 3 months. everything was fine. shortly after the 7 yo started coming things started up.

First two of the guys were missing a week after I bought them. All the kids were here. I searched the house over like crazy was asking them to look. I asked them to check their pockets and the 3yo said he didn't have them. The 7yo immediately said he didn't have anything in his pockets. I guess it was just intuition but i got suspicious. he kept saying things like "which one would your son miss more?" and was just acting weird so finally at one point i was right beside him and i said let me see what is in your pockets. The two missing guys were there.......he of course acted like he had no clue they were there even though both his hands were in his pockets. i told the dc dad he said he would deal with it


everything was fine after that, or so i thought. we were missing a hammer from thor which i asked the dc mom and she found it.....and since i have noticed that a sheild is missing.

we aren't rich by any means. my son has 8 of these avengers toys....he is currently missing 4.

the last week of march my gramma was sick in the hospital wed night and i spent the night there and cancelled with my dcmom for the thursday but not the friday. that thursday bought my son a couple mini "guys" which he played ith thurs and fri but i haven't seen them since that friday after the dc kids left.

my gramma passed away and the dc kids weren't here last week but yesterday he was here again and now two more have gone missing and he was acting funny yesterday. i almost asked him to empty his pockets but hadn't really seen them playing with the missing guys. Yesterday i mentioned something about the two little guys that were missing and his first words were "I didn't take them" I never said he took them all i said was that they were missing.

sorry for the long post i just was trying to fill in the back story as to why i suspect the 7yo. i am not sure what to #1. say to the parents #2 if I want to keep him at my daycare. well actually i know i dont' want to keep him here so i have to tell the mom tonight at pick up that i think her son is stealing and to find my sons toys and that i don't want her oldest child anymore.

has anyone had to deal with this before?

[Fun&care]

That's tough. But stealing is definitely unacceptable...the only other way you could prevent this, other than terming, I think would be to put your sons toys away when dck are there and only take them out on evenings and weekends? Also have you had any consequences for the seven year old, and what consequences is he getting at home?

[withtheweeones]

my son and the 3yo dcb LOVE to play with these toys but yes it is gettingto the point that i am going to have to at least when he is here. I have hidden them in the weeks past just before we left for pick up time.

there was no consequence here as it was an "accident" and he "forgot" they were there......not sure what happened at home. i honestly think i would just be happier if he was gone. i think the mom would leave the other two littles here but not 100%....

[playfelt]

Time for your son to keep these kinds of things in his room and if he wants to go in there and close the door and play with them that is ok. It is his house. He is not obligated to come and entertain the daycare kids.

If older daycare kid puts up a snit well just tell him why he lost the privilege. He can not be trusted to play properly and to put things back when he is done with them.

Another option is to keep things like this under your control so if they want to play they each choose a figure and one accessory from your collection and must return both items when done - before leaving the house but I would be watching them and as soon as interest wanes collect the figures then.

I had issues with the girls and barbie doll shoes and clothes and that is what I had to do. They were allowed to choose one doll each and five items of clothing. All accessories were for my own girls after hours so dolls walked around shoeless and purseless at daycare.

[Other Mummy]

Stealing is unacceptable. At 7 years old, he knows better. If you can, advertise and replace this family. The parents are obviously not doing enough to quell this behavior. If you cannot afford to lose them, or cannot fill the spot, I would pat them down every single evening before pick up. I also would not allow any backpacks/diaper bags that are accessible to the daycare kids.

Your poor son does not deserve his beloved toys being taken. It's hard enough on our OWN children when doing daycare (having to share their personal space, mom, toys, etc) but to add stealing to the mix. Seems like he and the 3 yr old dcb enjoy playing with his special toys together. Perhaps only allow supervised play only with these special toys. You also need to keep a third eye on the 7 yr old.

[apples and bananas]

I had a little one, age 4 at the time, who stuffed my sons trains in his little brothers pockets. I realized this after he brought one back one day and said "uh oh... little johnny put this in his pocket yesturday" I'm sure it's what he told his mom and mom told him just to bring it back the same way. (wasn't a great client)

It stopped at that. I would not hesitate to terminate if the theft continues to happen.

I would probably send and email to all families asking to check pockets etc. I would then probably try to set up the little guy and catch him in the act. Deal with it with mom. Set him up again a week later and if it happens again, immediate termination.

My kids go without a lot in order for me to be home with them. Loss of space, play pens in their room, sharing old toys, sharing me, different snacks etc. It's certainly not fair for them to deal with their toys dissapearing too.

[Dreamalittledream]

I too have a little 2 YO DCG that shoves things down her shirt & 2 YO boy that puts trains in his pockets...parents have always brought items back. I joked at one point I'd have to do a pat down at home time. My struggle I'm having is with my 7 year old son who takes things to school & has them stolen out of his coat pocket (cubbies are in the hallways/K to grade 6 school). Very true my son should not take valuables/treasured items to school (we have lectured him so many times)...but man it ticks me off that kids that young would even think to go through other kids pockets!!

[Momof4]

I'm sorry you lost your gramma, that's sad.

I agree with the others, 7 years old is an age where you should be able to talk to this boy about stealing and hurting other people. Maybe if you can deal with it properly and explain it to him he will return the toys. What if you talk to the entire group about it and tell them you are going to put out a little box in the morning and hope that the toy will come back to the daycare and be put in the little box and nobody will be in trouble THIS TIME. Just an idea, but maybe it would work.

[momofnerds]

your going to have to ask the boy to empty his pockets every day that he goes home. Explain to the dad that things are missing again. This is your house you shouldn't have to worry about a thief.

[busydaycarelady]

I too have had a similar experience with a 7 year old girl a few years ago. She had to run upstairs from the playroom 'to check if she remembered to bring something home from school in her backpack'. It happened frequently and I noticed many things go missing, which of course turned ip in her backpack. Spoke to mom who chalked it up to 'normal' 7 year old behavior and jealousy. I wish I'd have terminated immediately in my experience because there were also other behavioral issues but that's a whole other story. I'd say talk to parents let them know how you feel, put special toys away and impose serious consequences should this boy steal again. Totally unacceptable. I'd begin advertising if I was in a similar situation to find a replacement family. I know it's hard starting from scratch with a new family but its even harder trying to watch a 7 year old constantly trying to thwart his stealing. Good luck