Any pointers?

[lilac]

I have a 2.5 year old little girl who is extremely head strong. She is #3 with 2 older brothers. She's the princess and gets what she wants at home, by admission of her mom and now its a prob at home and here. I just started with her in Feb. I have my own 14m old little boy, who really wasnt at that stage yet when she started with me but hes learning quickly .

With this little girl, everything is "MINE" she takes stuff from him or anyone, she refuses to share anything (I know shes only 2.5) but if I try to get them to play together, she either tries to swipe stuff away from him, or she throws everything down and cries. If Im sitting somewhere, she wants to sit there, If anyone else is given something, she instantly drops the thing she wouldnt share in the first place cuz she wants what I've just given him to play with. If my little guy just looks at her she's yellingn "NO" at him. man... its exhausting... and my little guy honestly is a happy little man.... anyhow.

Im trying to stress the sharing, sitting them down together to play with something together, or making sure they each have a car or whatever, stressing that I"m sitting here now, or that theres lots of room next to me, or somewhere else to sit. Or that my little one had this first, she can have a turn in a bit. or No that is not your toy, its N's (my little one) and he is sharing it with you, isnt that nice of him? I had to buy a front and back double stroller, because she freaks out if he touches her in the side by side double. And its yelling "NO" and crying the whole way.... MAN OH MAN!

Anyhow, it doesnt seem to be getting any better, I know its the age, but any thing else you would try with these two?

[playfelt]

Keep returning her to what she was doing, where she was, etc. and reminding her that it isn't her turn yet. Say nothing else. It is all about impulse control and she has non.

[mom-in-alberta]

I think in addition to doing what you are doing, you need to remind mom and dad that she has to learn these very important social skills.
Much of it does sound like"typical" toddler behavior, but that it is going unchecked at home. Princess needs ro learn that she is important and special, but she is not rhe center of the universe.
What are the consequences when she rips a toy out of someone's hand? She is old enough to know rhat is not ok. I think one warning, and then start to either take away priveleges, or whatever you normally do.

[Fun&care]

I'm all for time outs...if she takes something away from someone, time out. That's just unacceptable. And age shouldn't be an excuse. Yes age means that they go through behavioral phases but that doesn't mean that they go unchecked! She needs CONSEQUENCES to her actions. She is too young to take away privileges, consequences need to be immediately after the offending behavior. Taking away privileges is too far in the future for a two year old.

[monkeymama]

my new dcg was like this. she is also 2, is an only child and has never been in a daycare setting before. one week of me not tolerating her behavior and multiple time-outs a day and now she is great. she shares, she uses her words etc. consistency with this one is the key

[lilac]

I have started time outs with her however, she likes time out.... ?? I'll give her her warning and say "ok, do you need to go to time out?" and she says "Yes!" big smile and then runs over to the step....

Ive never come across a child that liked time out...

[playfelt]

Because time out is so short for our age group it serves the purpose of getting adult attention. She does something - bet it is minorish and not a major infraction - then you interact directly one on one with her, she sits for a bit and then you come back and interact one on one with her again when her sitting is over. Kids will go to great lengths for attention even if it is negative.

Just with anything if it isn't working then time to have a new plan.

Rather than pushing the sharing, playing together I would be inclined to separate them and encourage more parallel play instead. If each has their own things there is no reason for mine. This sounds partly like a maturity thing and partly like a cause she knows it works thing. Let her have her moments and who cares if she gets upset. She needs to learn that life is just like that sometimes. Again take yourself out of the picture.