Bad experiences with day care providers

[mamaof4]

the admin. Please remember the 'ignore' feature. It can save a lot of headaches.

[Wonderwiper]

Ha ha! I'm a bit of a grammar corrector too! Just wanted to mention that not all posters have English as a first language and use the wrong words sometimes and others may use mobile devices that insert strange words with auto correct but we all know what they meant to write.

[treeholm]

Ha ha! I'm a bit of a grammar corrector too! Just wanted to mention that not all posters have English as a first language and use the wrong words sometimes and others may use mobile devices that insert strange words with auto correct but we all know what they meant to write.

Great point wonderwiper, I did not consider the fact that darasmommy might not speak English as her first language. I just became incensed that she was criticizing the care providers on this site; women of whom I have become quite protective. It was the mother bear instinct that made me point out errors. Auto correct can also be a nightmare; so true!

[mamaof4]

ok- grammar?? let it rest already.

[sunnydays]

Since when is a discussion about grammar offensive? I don't think the last few posts were attacking anyone nor were they mean, abusive, etc. It was simply a discussion...nobody was being singled out for using incorrect grammar. And yes, there are certainly people here whose first language is not English and I assumed that was where the confusion about "oxymoron" came in and it was why I did not comment...because as someone who has taught ESL learners for many years, I know how embarrassing it can be to have your errors pointed out. I sincerely hope that nobody feels their grammar, spelling, etc will be picked apart on this forum! I know I am horrible for typos...I can't type to save my life, so my letters get reversed, left out, etc.

ok- grammar?? let it rest already.

[mamaof4]

Since when is a discussion about grammar offensive? I don't think the last few posts were attacking anyone nor were they mean, abusive, etc. It was simply a discussion...nobody was being singled out for using incorrect grammar. And yes, there are certainly people here whose first language is not English and I assumed that was where the confusion about "oxymoron" came in and it was why I did not comment...because as someone who has taught ESL learners for many years, I know how embarrassing it can be to have your errors pointed out. I sincerely hope that nobody feels their grammar, spelling, etc will be picked apart on this forum! I know I am horrible for typos...I can't type to save my life, so my letters get reversed, left out, etc.

ok i misunderstood

[dodge__driver11]

LOL!! You know what? That is why you see me editing my posts so often because I see a typo or a missused word heh.

[Cadillac]

I think this post went off topic LOL

[Inspired by Reggio]

... Judging parents for judging you is an oxymoron.....

I think you forget that like you most of us ARE PARENTS ourselves first and foremost who want what is best for our own children and one would hope by inclusion since our kids spend the day home with us that this would cross over to ALL those in our care

By your logic if I were to come on to a parenting forum and basically SLAM ALL the stay at home moms who used that parenting forum for being lazy uncaring parents who just married a man in order to take advantage of being able to sit home all day eating bon bons while the kids ran wild because a bunch of different SAHM were coming to the one park in my neighborhood and congregating over their expensive lattes and crumpets while talking fashion and comparing nails while their children ran wild and unsupervised and basically leaving ME to redirect their kids inappropriate bullying or aggressive behavior toward my crew in order to keep my kids safe while I was trying to work for a living and how disgusting I found it that they were blessed to be able to be home with their children not having to 'work an additional job' on top of that and they turned around and abused that privilege by not properly 'being there' for their child ... that would be me offering those SAHM's some CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM .. I should expect that to be received with open arms of why Reggio thank you so much for pointing out the error of our ways we will certainly reflect more on our roles as parents?

Or if I were to go on and on about how disgusted their threads were venting about their spouses and children 'challenging' behaviours and how they should just be 'grateful to be taken care of by a man' if the first place cause really they have no right to vent about him or any of his inappropriate behaviours because after all he PAYS for their ability to stay home and in reality that means they 'work' for him and should just be happy to have a job to do and therefore do as they are told with a smile and a thank you sir may I have another every time he is a jerk ... that too would be viewed as CONSTRUCTIVE way for me to speak to them?

Cause in reality that would be no DIFFERENT than what you have done here on this board except exchange SAHM with childcare provider and exchange spouse with client .... and I am betting YOU would be all over calling me out for my rude behaviour were I to do that ... and well admittedly so would I because it WOULD be rude and anything BUT constructive!

See IMO there is a difference between venting about BEHAVIORS that someone exhibits that are not acceptable and asking for advice on how to handle that and what you are doing which is JUDGING an entire profession by the behaviours of a small few!

I think every provider on here would agree that yes there ARE less than stellar providers in the world ~ we too have seen them at parks and playgroups, and NO it is not a prudent choice to be doing each others 'nails' at the park while you are suppose to be supervising children cause while there are somethings you can multi task in this job 'wet nails' is not one of them .... but your JUDGING US ALL as lazy babysitters out to make a quick buck based on those providers behavior is WRONG!

And while I agree that sometimes it is hard for some providers to vent 'politely and professionally' when someone has stiffed you with payment or been late yet again or dropped off their sick kid and made your whole family sick or a child who is not yours has just bitten, kicked or called you a swear word and well you are just feeling at the end of your rope and a swear word or adjective pops out that just makes you momentarily feel better when in reality no it is not so 'professional' but sometimes it is just hard to be professional in those circumstances .... seriously when was the last time YOU were bitten at work or had someone throw something at you ~ you think you'd be all smiles and decorum sharing that experience with your coworker?

Your coming on here and implying that providers should not VENT about inappropriate behaviors in their programs and how to fix that without being JUDGED by parents like you as uncaring money grabbing clods .... well as Judy mentioned in another thread is just detrimental to the whole INDUSTRY and works to create more isolation and burn out for providers who than will be afraid to speak out about their feelings of being taken advantage and to ask for help ... and we will continue to see a shortage of those willing to DO this job.

So unless society wants to return to a time when women ALL STAYED HOME full time to raise their own children than we better start looking for ways to SUPPORT and RESPECT those of us who choose to provide childcare to those who work outside the home to want to continue to do this ... cause it is obvious that people are NOT lining up to take on these roles there is a shortage of people entering ECE in colleges, there is a shortage of staff in childcare centres and so forth due to the lack of respect and support our industry receives ... and if we keep treating childcare professionals with indignantly it is going to get pretty dang hard for those of you who want or need to work outside the home to be able to do that the more and more of us who are driven out of the professional by those clients who are rude, disrespectful, supportive and just plan difficult to work with or the rising number of 'challenging' children that parent seem to be breeding these days .... honestly in my 25 years in the field the increase in socially unacceptable and violent behaviour children exhibit at younger and younger ages is just astounding to me and as a result the 'working conditions' for providers have become more and more violent and stressful and society wonders why we are feeling 'jaded and negative' all the time ... if you do not have a way to keep yourself SANE by letting that go to a peer and finding tips on how to deal well than that negativity takes over your whole entire program!

[Cocoon]

Wow by calling people here oxymoron you proved how cleaver YOU are. Calling people names is a way of saying " actually I'm an idiot and I can't say anything better but if I call you names then it will satisfy my ego and I will actually believe I'm clever. " it's a physiological thing. It's OK. We now you are sick and we don't judge Well... I guess all we can say is get well soon