Bad experiences with day care providers

[ilovemilton]

dear members - good day to all im a new user to the daycare bear forum - i just wanted to share my own recent experience , 6 months ago i had found a daycare through this site for my son who was 16 months @ the time , initially was very very happy w/ the home daycare & the lady as she seemed to be very motherly & caring , my son used to go p/t so it did take a long time for him to adjust to the daycare but once he adjusted he was a happy camper , she was too much by the books lady when it came to rules , i understand you run a business but my belief is one has to make exceptions when needed & not just go by black and white specially in the daycare profession.just a week ago had the worst experience of my life w/ her..my son is very prone to pneumonia since he was 5 months old he has already gotten in 4 times until now so there were lot of days where he was sick & we did not send him to the daycare - as per her rules/contract which she in love w/ i guess we paid her all along.In feb/2011 he was very sick & dint go to her for 2 weeks straight ( he goes 3 days a week ) which again we had paid her for , end of feb one friday which was not his day to go i requested her to do me a favor if possibe & accomadate my son that day - she on her own said yes send him as he was really missing his daycare friends when he was very sick..when time came to pay for the march days she never said anything about that days payment & i assumed she did me a favor for that one day , however when she received the cheq for march she claims the $ for that one day as well --- i was shocked by her behaviour really she was one woman who always said IM NOT IN THIS FOR THE $$$$$ IM IN THIS DAYCARE BUSINESS BCUZ OF MY PASSION FOR KIDS BLAH BLAH BLAH
-- it really shocked me that she was such an inconsiderate lady unbelivable so i called her & had a good chat w/ her that she needs to be more transparent w. parents if they ask a favor & be honest & bold enough to say before hand about anything & not once the favor has been done...anyways after the phone chat w/ her she made me read her CONTRACT again that no matter how many days the child is sick she need the $$$$..I was clear about it going forward , my respect for her from that day onwards had become less but i know my son was used to her & the daycare kids so dint want to do any changes for him.Within an hour of that phone chat when i checked my email she sends me a 2 week notice termination letter stating " After the conversation regarding the adjustment of sick days (for Feb 25, 2011) this evening,
I find it difficult to work with you. I have made my decision to terminate your sons daycare contract with two weeks notice as per the terms of the signed home daycare contract " it was one of the worst days of my life - very very unhappy w. the way she treated all of this for 1 day of payment omg..i belive she is in the wrong proffession - i decided not to send my child to her at all - i dont even need the 2 weeks not at all & also paid her for that one day when i went to collect his items..since then my nights have been sleepless finding a new daycare thanks to daycare bear i was able to find a new daycare where he will begin soon.i wish i could name the daycare but im not that type of a person so people are aware that she is a money monster & only in it for that which i was mistaken 6 months ago thinking she is a human anyways god is great i trust in him & he will make sure she learns her lesson soon.

[Niveah]

Hi ilovemilton,
Welcome to the forum. I am sorry that you had to go through this.
I myself came to discuss day care issues in this forum because of a bad experience. I found her through this site and she seemed to have it all in paper -this perfectionist.
She made me think that my 12 month old should be saying words, and compared my child to her 7 month old's development. She expected my baby to grow out of her morning nap which she desperately needed. In fact, it got difficult for her to keep my baby because she was not an easy settler and she could not fit her into her schedule...we are talking about the first 4 weeks of starting day care ( full-time-of which could a week off for getting sick).
I came to this forum and I see a lot of providers who do a great job and understand the needs of a child...some put up with the babies for months until they settle.
However, mine did not want her and sent me a letter saying that my child is a disturbance to her routine because she wouldn't settle during nap time.
Not to mention, the diaper rash and other issues I had during my visits. It was bad marriage it had to end. But we keep learning. I think people like this create paranoia about day care providers in general.
I am glad you are here, there is a lot of information and you get to understand their perspective too.

[Niveah]

I also wonder if we can specify who these bad providers are in this forum. I wonder if that is allowed...I guess admin might be able to answer this.
They do not participate in parents review programs.

[LisaQ]

Please don't name specific providers. I completely understand why you might want to do so, but we want to keep these forums positive and welcoming, not critical (however much they might deserve it!). Thanks everyone for your understanding.

[playfelt]

Not sure that naming a provider does anything for anybody. As with everything there are two sides to every story and since the other person does not have a chance to defend themselves we could be opening up a whole defamation of character situation. How a parent perceives their child and how that child acts once they get into group care is often very different. Also parents interview several months in advance so I'm sure at that time caregivers say they do outings and parents think this is wonderful without realizing the ramifacations that their child might still need a nap and might end up doing it in the stroller at the museum. I'm sure parents don't want their names listed as deadbeats who don't pay up or obey the rules so guess that is only fair to caregivers too. Sorry that you had issues. Obviously no matter how much you thought you had chosen the right daycare that it just isn't the right one for your child and best that you part ways. There are caregivers that don't do outings and your child can nap and there are children that don't need naps and will thrive on the outings.

[Niveah]

Yes, I agree with you Lisa..will not name anyone here. I am only here to say that as parents we need to find what suits us and make the right choices and learn from our bad experiences.
Yes Playfelt. I agree with you. It is true that there is always two sides and no one really ever wants to admit their mistakes.
I feel very happy to see different day care providers opinions here and I know that I have a lot of good ones to choose from.
So, yes as parents we need to be aware. I am not here to take revenge on anyone.
I share my bad experiences..not only did I learn from it but someone else might too.

[Rhonda]

Thank you luppernoodle! I appreciate your openess regarding your experience as both a parent and a caregiver. I too have been on both sides and can appreciate the challenges of a parent and a caregiver.

I have had disgruntaled families threatened to ruin my daycare, and it does only take 1 digruntaled family to ruin a good home daycare! Unfortunately, the disgruntaled family isn't always in the right either. I agree, please do not name names. Unfortunately this forum is open to the public and what we write on this forum can be used against us no matter how innocent/truthful/supportive the comment may be.

[Spixie33]

welcome to the forum ilovemilton. I am pretty new myself but it is interesting to read your experience.
I actually have to say that I kind of side with the daycare provider on yoru issue. She did do a whole day of watching your son so I would think that would be fair for her to get paid for it IMHO.
I can understand your frustration with having to pay for all the sick days though. I have been on the side of the problem as a parent. My son was admitted for 16 days to a hospital and had to miss the daycare I was using for over 2 weeks. At that time...it was written in the contract that parents had to pay for sick days...even extended absceneces since the daycare was still holding that spot for the sick child.
I was very HAPPY though when I issued the cheque to the daycare provider and she handed it back to me at the end of the day saying she didn't feel right accepting it and that I should only pay half. that was a nice gesture on her part but i honestly wouldn't have blamed her had she charged me since it was in the contract that I signed.
Now I am a provider and I sometimes feel a twinge if a child misses a couple of days ...but I do budget in the weekly money from the daycare income so I do NEED it because this is how I make a living. I do think that I would do the same if a child was actually hospitalized though and give the parents a break.
I guess people sometimes sign the contract thinking it will never really come into effect or apply to them but in the end....there has to be a trust that the contract and agreements are kept from both sides. You wouldn't want someone to mislead you about their daycare and providers also want parents that they can rely on. In the end there is usually a good fit out there if you look hard enough. I have had 3 great providers in my time as a working mom and now I am trying hard to be like those providers. they are my standard so to speak

[Momof4]

As a quality home daycare provider in London Ontario with many friends who believe as I do, it makes me very sad and upset to read your problems with your current HDCP for your family. It is really important to make a commitment between the families and HDCP's for 3-4 years and gut feelings and ongoing daily communication and trust and faith in her should be there daily.

I talk to the parents daily about any situations regarding behaviour, food intake, nap problems so that they have a good idea of how their child's day progressed so they can plan their evenings.

So, if you have a bad situation, listen to your gut, and your child and find someone better!

[Steph]

dear members - good day to all im a new user to the daycare bear forum - i just wanted to share my own recent experience , 6 months ago i had found a daycare through this site for my son who was 16 months @ the time , initially was very very happy w/ the home daycare & the lady as she seemed to be very motherly & caring , my son used to go p/t so it did take a long time for him to adjust to the daycare but once he adjusted he was a happy camper , she was too much by the books lady when it came to rules , i understand you run a business but my belief is one has to make exceptions when needed & not just go by black and white specially in the daycare profession.just a week ago had the worst experience of my life w/ her..my son is very prone to pneumonia since he was 5 months old he has already gotten in 4 times until now so there were lot of days where he was sick & we did not send him to the daycare - as per her rules/contract which she in love w/ i guess we paid her all along.In feb/2011 he was very sick & dint go to her for 2 weeks straight ( he goes 3 days a week ) which again we had paid her for , end of feb one friday which was not his day to go i requested her to do me a favor if possibe & accomadate my son that day - she on her own said yes send him as he was really missing his daycare friends when he was very sick..when time came to pay for the march days she never said anything about that days payment & i assumed she did me a favor for that one day , however when she received the cheq for march she claims the $ for that one day as well --- i was shocked by her behaviour really she was one woman who always said IM NOT IN THIS FOR THE $$$$$ IM IN THIS DAYCARE BUSINESS BCUZ OF MY PASSION FOR KIDS BLAH BLAH BLAH
-- it really shocked me that she was such an inconsiderate lady unbelivable so i called her & had a good chat w/ her that she needs to be more transparent w. parents if they ask a favor & be honest & bold enough to say before hand about anything & not once the favor has been done...anyways after the phone chat w/ her she made me read her CONTRACT again that no matter how many days the child is sick she need the $$$$..I was clear about it going forward , my respect for her from that day onwards had become less but i know my son was used to her & the daycare kids so dint want to do any changes for him.Within an hour of that phone chat when i checked my email she sends me a 2 week notice termination letter stating " After the conversation regarding the adjustment of sick days (for Feb 25, 2011) this evening,
I find it difficult to work with you. I have made my decision to terminate your sons daycare contract with two weeks notice as per the terms of the signed home daycare contract " it was one of the worst days of my life - very very unhappy w. the way she treated all of this for 1 day of payment omg..i belive she is in the wrong proffession - i decided not to send my child to her at all - i dont even need the 2 weeks not at all & also paid her for that one day when i went to collect his items..since then my nights have been sleepless finding a new daycare thanks to daycare bear i was able to find a new daycare where he will begin soon.i wish i could name the daycare but im not that type of a person so people are aware that she is a money monster & only in it for that which i was mistaken 6 months ago thinking she is a human anyways god is great i trust in him & he will make sure she learns her lesson soon.

I'm going to try an keep this as non-judgemental as possible. I understand that it is very hard fro working parents to place their children in the care of someone, and when that experience doesn't meet with expectations it can leave a bad taste in your mouth.
That said, why would you agree to a contract if you we're not willing to follow it? Providers have contracts for a reason. Contracts set out the expectations of both parent and provider. It fair to expect her to change the contract t suit you. You wouldn't be happy if she changed the contract to suit her.
Also, everyone works for money. If you work for a reason other than money,it's called volunteering. Do you often work an extra day free of charge as a favor to the company? My guess is no. Now if money were the only consideration no one would choose childcare as a career. I made alomost twice as much working in sales, but I like this job better. There are enough perks that the pay cut is worth it. I genuinely enjoy children and from what people have said I'm an excellent provider but that doesn't mean I don't work for the money.
As for naming names, how woudl you feel if this same provider was posting about this and put your name. There are two sides to every story and I doubt she sees this situation the same way you do.