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  1. #1
    Starting to feel at home...
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    Acting up at pick-up and drop off.

    I have a dcb that just turned 3. He's been here since the fall. In the last month or so he has started acting up when his mom picks him up and drops him off. Throwing toys. Kicking. Saying nasty things to other dck. Walking into my house with his boots on. His mom, for the most part, ignores the behavior or bribes him into behaving with donuts or tv shows at home. As far as im concerned, when the parent is in my home it is their responsibility to handle unacceptable behavior but I have stepped in with this child a few times, which I do not like to do. How would you handle this situation? I am so frustrated!

  2. #2
    Euphoric !
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    If you can put a gate up in your entrance area that would be a start ....then have him ready to go sitting on the floor or a chair by the door waiting for mom to come in. Then say well all ready to go hope you have a nice night ... See you tomorrow!!! With the gate he can't get back to the playroom or walk on your floors with his boots on and she doesn't have to fight to get his coat on.

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  4. #3
    Euphoric ! Sandbox Sally's Avatar
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    Great idea, Crayola!

    Gym, try really hard to remember that it's still your home and he is still under your jurisdiction, as it were, while he's in your home.

    Today, I had a chat with my newly 4 yo dcg about pick up yesterday. I said it nicely, and told her exactly what is expected of her when dad comes. I am hoping it helped. Can you have a conversation with your little guy about pick up as well? When it comes close to pick up time, maybe you can remind him, too.

  5. #4
    Euphoric !
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    When the child is interacting inappropriatly with the parent it is between then and for the most part I stay out of it and even leave them at the door if I can. But when the child starts violating rules such as the boots in the house you have every right to stop him and make him take them off before he proceeds.

  6. #5
    Euphoric !
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    I have this with one family as well. They ignore their mom when she comes, start running, throwing things. I handle it though, I got sick of waiting for her to do something. I will say "I know you're excited to see your mom but the rules are still the same, no throwing toys in the daycare"."

  7. #6
    Euphoric ! Sandbox Sally's Avatar
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    Sometimes you can walk away and leave it in the parent's hands, but other times, you can't. Yesterday with my new dcg, she refused to come to the door, and her father didn't come in. It was completely up to me to lure her to the door.

  8. #7
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    I had a five year old girl who refused to even look up when her father came to pick her up. Then the other five year old daycare girl said to him that she didn't want to go home. So he looks at me and asks if he can come back later. I was so shocked I answered with "I guess" but clearly I was not impressed. Now they never pick her up until the very last minute even though they pick up their son from school at 3:20. Never again will I let that happen. Also the hiding on the parents game. Not allowed! My other dck's always give their mom a hard time and they leave everything for her to carry while they run to the car in sock feat, no coats etc. Why she puts up with it? I have no idea.

  9. #8
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    Most of the time parents will not step up to the plate and "parent" their child because they are either mortified and embarrassed that we are judging them or clearly the child runs the circus at home. Either way, when I have a dck that does this at pick up or drop off, I nip it in the bud quick. Have them ready waiting for mum or dad. Do a clean hand over when they ring the bell. Wish them good night and be done with it. Easy peasy.

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  11. #9
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    I have one dcm who's great with this. Her little guy starts throwing a tantrum at the door, so she scoops up his coat and shoes and walks out the door with a "bye!".

    I would do what Other Mummy suggested. Have them ready to go, make it quick and clean.

  12. #10
    Euphoric !
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    I've only had one boy go through a phase like this thank goodness! He was an Oscar winning performer though, it was so dramatic but at least his Mom caught on that it was all an act for her. I convinced her that the best thing she could do in the morning was to drop him off and get out quickly because he turned it off after she left. Pickups was another story because she wanted to hear about our day and he got worse and worse as we chatted simply because he wanted all the attention. It's good for parents to let their children know that they have to wait sometimes and be patient but ugh, it's awful when it happens at our front door!
    Frederick Douglass
    It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.

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