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  1. #1
    Shy
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    Need help and support

    Has anyone ever gone through anything like this before, my dh has had a nervous breakdown, my kids are suffering from severe anxiety, and I am close to losing it myself. I have 4 young kids of my own (I just got guardianship of my sister in laws son) plus I have been doing home daycare for the last several months. How do you keep working and keep your chin up when your own family is crumbling around you. We are now living in Ottawa, does anyone know of any help here for families.

  2. #2
    Euphoric !
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    I have no experience with this, but just wanted to send a hug your way. It sounds like you are dealing with a whole lot right now and that has to be very hard while running a daycare I hope you find the support you need to get you and your family through this. Have you asked your doctor about supports available?

  3. #3
    Outgoing
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    Hugs from me also. Sounds like you really do have your hands full. I dont know what helpful advice i can offer other than you have to try your best to take care of yourself so that you can care for everyone else and that means asking friends and family for help so that you can get out of the house every now and then. Even if you go and sit by yourself with a coffee for a bit. I think the best resource for you will be your family doctor. He/she should be able to get you in touch with some agencies that may be able to offer repsite help and or counselling. Hope you have a good day today.

  4. #4
    Euphoric !
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    Hugs to you loads'o'kids. I know the Royal Ottawa Hospital deals with mental issues and has an outreach program that could be a source of information. The problem with a lot of the programs is that you find them in places that aren't easily advertised. Doctors, church ministers, community health clinics might be good sources for tracking down the program options out there. I don't specifically know of what programs might help at the moment. Check on the website for the school board. They have counselors that will help children deal with issues and would be a source of information for you.

  5. #5
    Euphoric ! mimi's Avatar
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    I am so glad to hear you are reaching out for help. Playfelt has given some good suggestions on where to start your search for assistance.
    Meanwhile, you are the rock in your family right now. How well you show you are coping will set an example for your children and dh. Take care of the basics with your family. Don't try to be a hero by making sure everything is running perfectly. Take care of yourself. Try to get enough sleep at night and eat well.
    Can you take some time off from your daycare? Even a couple of days to contact some agencies and getting your family on the path to feeling better.
    I am sorry to hear of your struggles and am sending you lots of hugs and best wishes. Please continue to let us know how you are doing. Anyone of us could find ourselves in your situation. It is important for you to have an outlet to vent and get support.

  6. #6
    Euphoric !
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    I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I can't imagine how hard it is for you to carry that tremendous load on your own! My best wishes go out to you. I wish I could offer you good advice on agencies to reach out to. All I can offer is my own tactics for getting through the crap.

    I've not gone through your specific problems, but have had a plethora of my own over the years from messy divorce, daughter's chronic depression, ups and serious downs with business...the list goes on. My best advice for you personally - Take care of YOU! Of course you have the responsibility of your family and business, but you must, must, MUST make time for yourself so you can decompress every now and then. During my very rough times, I leaned heavily on my girlfriends. Kitchen table therapy is wonderfully healing for us. If there's anyone around who can take the kids for a couple days, take some time (preferrably not at home as you'll work) to unwind and pamper yourself so you can see things from a distance for a little bit. I found that worked wonders for me....helped me gain a little perspective and recharge. I also made sure I had something to look forward to a couple times every month - dinner out (or in) with a friend, girls' night, movie night....whatever. Just something you enjoy that gets you out of the fray and gives you something else to focus on for a little bit. Unfortunately, we can be swallowed whole by the misery and responsibility if we don't forcibly take care of ourselves too.

    One thing I did with my kids was initiated "Sloth Day". Rent a bunch of movies, put out a buffet of yummy foods. The rules were: Everyone stays in jammies for the day, pull the curtains shut, turn off the phone, we all stay in to watch movies, play board games, cards, graze at the buffet all day and just vanish from the earth for 1 day. My own kids thought it was like a National Holiday and it was a real treat every couple months. They're all big now (adult and teen) and still ask to have Sloth Day.

    I hope things get better for you soon. Vent as much as you need to
    Last edited by cfred; 04-23-2013 at 12:26 PM.

  7. #7
    Euphoric !
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    211.ca is a great resource for finding support/agencies. There are also programs that will take your kids for respite if you need it. I don't know of resources in Ottawa but these ladies have pointed you in the right direction as a starting point.

    If you are feeling need of support as things are becoming unmanageable and your kids could be at risk, CAS can help with resources and getting services for you quickly. Their mandate is now to keep families together, not rip them a part so they can work with you and find supports for the interim while you're struggling.

    Another great program is "wraparound services" they work with you by building your "team" of family, friends and support and help facilitate the conversation of how you all are managing and what your needs are so you are not doing things on your own. Sometimes simple solutions come from these meetings e.g. you need someone to take the kids to school and a friend, aunt steps up to take on that piece or help making dinner once a week to take the pressure off of you.

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  9. #8
    Euphoric ! Sandbox Sally's Avatar
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    Wanted to give you a big hug. I have personal experience with a loved one and anxiety and depression, and I know how hard it is.

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