Is this normal!

[playfelt]

I find a lot of talking works at this stage because they are testing, they are trying to be sure they are seen, heard, dealt with and not forgotten. But it takes that stern don't mess with me kind of voice to get your point across. Watch him like a hawk and then be ready to step in before he completes his tantrum such as when he picks up a dish to toss it, grab the dish and roughly place it back in front of him so he can see it where it was before he picked it up and say in that voice "I don't care what you want and don't want. This is what we are having for lunch today. If you don't want to eat fine that is your choice but we do not throw our plates." Then remove the plate to the counter where he can still see that his meal exists. Ignore the tantrum that comes next unless he is about to hurt someone because that is just a reaction to finally being called up on the carpet for the first infraction. Deal with one issue at a time or you will be on his case all day. Pick the things that bug you the most and deal with those. By the process of elimination you will eventualy get to them all. What it really is though he will come to realize that you are the authority and he is expected to tow the line. Once he does you won't have to deal with the minor issues as they will take care of themselves. I use phrases like "this is my house and I do not have to let you do ....(that)". I find I need to be authoritarian without being the bully as in everything must become black and white and no waffling. Once he learns his perameters hopefully he will settle down. Giving options, being nice, treading carefully around him can actually make things worse because it doesn't give him the chance to draw that line in the sand that he can't cross. he is looking for a framework to his life. He is not too young to be expected to obey the rules.

[Skysue]

I find a lot of talking works at this stage because they are testing, they are trying to be sure they are seen, heard, dealt with and not forgotten. But it takes that stern don't mess with me kind of voice to get your point across. Watch him like a hawk and then be ready to step in before he completes his tantrum such as when he picks up a dish to toss it, grab the dish and roughly place it back in front of him so he can see it where it was before he picked it up and say in that voice "I don't care what you want and don't want. This is what we are having for lunch today. If you don't want to eat fine that is your choice but we do not throw our plates." Then remove the plate to the counter where he can still see that his meal exists. Ignore the tantrum that comes next unless he is about to hurt someone because that is just a reaction to finally being called up on the carpet for the first infraction. Deal with one issue at a time or you will be on his case all day. Pick the things that bug you the most and deal with those. By the process of elimination you will eventualy get to them all. What it really is though he will come to realize that you are the authority and he is expected to tow the line. Once he does you won't have to deal with the minor issues as they will take care of themselves. I use phrases like "this is my house and I do not have to let you do ....(that)". I find I need to be authoritarian without being the bully as in everything must become black and white and no waffling. Once he learns his perameters hopefully he will settle down. Giving options, being nice, treading carefully around him can actually make things worse because it doesn't give him the chance to draw that line in the sand that he can't cross. he is looking for a framework to his life. He is not too young to be expected to obey the rules.

He's really pushing it bust starting to understand I mean business! LOL Hopefully this stage won't last too long!