Considering how old the child was when coming to care I am guessing you are not her first caregiver. Parents sound like they are totally in denial blaming everything and everyone else for what is their problem and the problems they created in the child.
Sometimes when it gets to the point that I don't care if a family up and leaves or not I start calling the child out on behaviour, language, actions whatever and am not all nicey,nicey about it either. They know that I am angry and not going to tolerate it anymore. Don't care if it "hurts their feelings" or not. Someone has to stand up to the child and say enough is enough and if the parents won't then since I am in the place of the parents during the daycare it becomes my responsibility. And if it ticks the parents off well ok go bug some other caregiver then no problem. But just maybe giving the child a taste of her own medicine helps to meet her half way and shows her that she is not the boss. Then once you have her at least listening you can work on the how to behave instead. If child is not disciplined at home it shouldn't take being too "mean" to get your point across as it will be something totally new to the child. Think of it as doing everyone a huge favour in coping in society.

































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