I'm in the same boat. I terminated a family that I kept on for a year and a half until I absolutely couldn't take it any more. The other children are much happier and never even mention the terminated child after being with him all that time! It's because they are as relieved as I am that he is gone. Crazy, huh? I learned that termination has to be done and it has to be done within the first few months. We should NOT torture ourselves!