Ok I'm gonna try and keep this to the point but these boys get me so wound up!
Here goes: I've had this family for 9 months (4 & 10 yo) and I'm not 100% sure what to do anymore. Regardless, they are leaving eventually but I'm not sure if I should speed this process up and guarantee a time they are leaving or if I should just wait it out. The 10 yo is leaving at the end of the school year so I'm not too concerned about that but the 4yo is leaving who knows when as the mom can't decide what she wants to do yet. Basically what happened today that has got me questioning if I need to just bite the bullet is that for the last couple months the mom has sounded quite sure that he will be leaving at the end of the school yr to go to summer camps. Honestly I have been relieved knowing that much of my stress will be coming to an end soon. Well this morning the mom told me that her 4yo was so bad at his 1st ball hockey game that she is thinking that he may do better here for the summer than in a bigger group setting. I said nothing (in my head you could hear 'noooooooooooo' and then my gut getting twisted in a ball). In all the time that I have had this boy nothing has ever really improved its just stayed the same and the rest of us are just tolerating him. He doesn't share, he has a bad temper, can't control his emotions, has huge break downs when he doesn't get his way, doesn't listen, talks back, blah blah blah. I've tried time outs, rewards, punishments, talking to him, talking to his mom and nothing changes. I can't, I can't, I can't watch him until September. He's effecting my group, my sanity, my family. I've only held on this long because I knew his mom was pulling them and they have been having some personal stuff going on so I didn't want to give up on them. Now the mom is talking about leaving him here longer!? Because its always the same stuff I don't tell the mom everything everyday that he does because its him being him and he does the same stuff at home (she really never asks and to be honest I'd be at the door for awhile if I told her about every scream, tantrum, and timeout).

My question is should I just bite the bullet and tell her now that I've been thinking about her comment this morning and really think it would be best if he leaves the same time her other boy leaves or should I just give her a termination letter stating that because of his poor behaviour they need to find new care by this date? Should I pull her aside at pick up or send her an email (pick ups are always crazy and I don't like talking about that stuff in front of the kids, plus then it's documented). I am not a confrontational person, I am very much a people pleaser and quite often put everyone first but I can't do this anymore but am scary spitless to have this conversation. What would you say to the mom if you were me?

Thank you in advance