Parents coming in at drop-off

[Judy Trickett]

Judy can you come and live here for awhile? LOL

It's all in your attitude and having high expectations for the parents you serve and the kids you serve. It's also two-sided in that you also have to have high expectations for YOURSELF and wha you offer the kids.

IME, if you offer the kids a lot the parents see that and are more likely to follow your rules because they know, in their hearts, that the rules are there to protect the kids.

[Tinkerbell]

You are absolutely right! I just had a Mom come for a visit with the husband (as I had never met him during the interview process) and she was talking about the upcoming first couple of days and mentioned coming in with her daughter and 'getting her settled in'. This just teaches them that if they act out Mommy stays longer. I try to enforce the 'Stop, Drop, and Run' philosophy, but I find more and more parents either don't listen or don't care what I have to say. After 19 years doing this you would think I would be prepared for this type of thing.

[playfelt]

I do find there is such a difference in parenting methods these days though. Kids are not expected to take responsibility for anything. They are not pressured to grow up until they suddenly reach 18 months to 2 years and then the parents expect them to have the capacity of a 3-4 year old in the following month. Kids do not hear the word no often enough, have few limits lest their creatitvity and self-esteeem take a hit. Mommy honestly believes that her child could not possibly function independently of her. She will stay till the child stops crying and we all know that isn't going to happen anytime soon. Somewhere along the parenting channels parents got this notion that a child should never experience the realities of life and it is so sad. I try to explain that just as mom has her place to be at work, the child has their place to be at daycare and both need to get on with their jobs and not be distracted by the other one - put as politely as possible while still getting the message across.

[Tinkerbell]

Very well said!

[Spixie33]

You are absolutely right! I just had a Mom come for a visit with the husband (as I had never met him during the interview process) and she was talking about the upcoming first couple of days and mentioned coming in with her daughter and 'getting her settled in'. This just teaches them that if they act out Mommy stays longer. I try to enforce the 'Stop, Drop, and Run' philosophy, but I find more and more parents either don't listen or don't care what I have to say. After 19 years doing this you would think I would be prepared for this type of thing.

This was the first time I was asked the same thing from a mom...she asked if she could come a few times with her child before daycare starts to get her used to daycare and get her comfortable.


But how is going on a mommy playdate getting her used to daycare? I think it is much more productive to do a gradual entry where the little one comes on their own for growing periods of time. i.e start 2 hours...then 4, then 6 then a full day. Having mommy come for a few days and then suddenly sending a child for 9.5 hours without mommy seems like it would be even more confusing

[Tinkerbell]

This was the first time I was asked the same thing from a mom...she asked if she could come a few times with her child before daycare starts to get her used to daycare and get her comfortable.


But how is going on a mommy playdate getting her used to daycare? I think it is much more productive to do a gradual entry where the little one comes on their own for growing periods of time. i.e start 2 hours...then 4, then 6 then a full day. Having mommy come for a few days and then suddenly sending a child for 9.5 hours without mommy seems like it would be even more confusing

Funny thing is I have tried to explain this to parents countless times. Prepare your child appropriately for a daycare setting. Ask advice of your provider on the best way to acclimate the child and proceed as advised. If they trust you enough to hire you then they should trust you enough to take your advice.

[mom-in-alberta]

I completely agree.... I haven't had any moms ask to join their little one, other than the initial interview visits. If that was asked of me, I would decline. From day one, small people need to know that when they come here; Mom/Dad kisses them goodbye at the door, we play and have fun, and then sometime later, Mom/Dad will come to the door again to take them home. Having Mommy stay a couple times but then not stay anymore is confusing and not helpful for anyone. I will recommend that we start by implementing a couple hours at a time, and then increase it as needed. I explain to parents that it is TOTALLY normal to have tears at the door, and that if I feel that their child is having difficulty adjusting, they will be the first to know.
PS> I also agree with all that you have said about parenting these days. Sad, but true.....

[FS2011]

Couldnt you just lock your door and bring the child to the door ready to go when she arrives? That's what I do, doors locked, parent knocks I open it grab the child they get ready and I usually lead the goodbye with telling the child to have a good evening and see them tomorrow...the parent gets the point usually! Another thing I do when it's nice out is have bags ready to go, kids outside playing so when parents arrive they are ready to go!