Home Daycare when your own children are older

[bright sparks]

First off I will start by saying that being in my 7th year of daycare and having a 10 and 12 year old, they love the daycare children. They interact really well with them and the only time I ever had an issue was during the first year when I had 3 year old at the same time as my own 3 year old which I think is normal having "competition" for my attention. As soon as he went to Kindergarten this was no issue.

I am however going to play devil's advocate for a moment and be very frank about the negative impact it has on my own children. It's all good and well that people say that they are there for their kids after school, on PA days and during school holidays, but honestly, I must spend more time asking my kids to wait, because I am attending to the youngsters than I actually do being there for them and this has a profound effect on children. Especially when they are being asked to wait and seeing me give my attention to other peoples children. They completely understand and don't make a fuss about it, but it's not to say that it doesnt effect them in any way. My kids are independent and do most things for themselves now, but contrary to what people might say, I do not get valuable time with my own children when I am working. After school, I actually make a point now of having 30 minutes of tv time for the daycare kids, due to the fact that I can't live with the guilt tied to never being able to give myself 100% to them when they come home from school. It's not just a matter of how much time I see them but more the quality of time I spend with them that counts. Now if I worked outside of the home, then there would be less time all together, BUT, the expectation wouldn't exist either. I wouldn't be here full stop and my kids wouldn't expect more from me because I wouldn't be present, almost like teasing them with something they can't always have. My son is gifted/LD and he has a hard time having to wait 2 hours after school for me to help him with his work or if he needs me for something, hence why I decided that if my own kids have to share my attention with the daycare children where they are 2nd, then sometimes the daycare kids have to come 2nd also so I can be more of a mother at certain times to my own children.

In the past my kids have told me they would love it if I could just be a mother to them and when I have asked them, it's not because they dont want to share me or recent the children being here, its just that it comes at a price to them when they are ALWAYS being made to wait. If the kids were younger they would be requiring the same as the daycare kids so I would be playing with them and hanging out with them all together due to their similar needs and abilities, but sometimes the balance is hard to keep now.

Don't take this the wrong way. There are some great benefits to this job, and in some ways they are seeing my kids more and putting every meal on the table for them is one of them. But in reality, there will be times when you will be putting your job first which will result in difficulties in meeting both groups of kids needs.