Well, we are not tuned to starve ourselves or allow ourselves to die of dehydration so my guess is she WILL eat and drink on her own once she is off the boob. I don't understand parents who KNOW their child is going into group care and don't properly prepare them. It's akin to abusive, IMO, to set your child up to fail miserably the first time they are off on their own without the parent.
Now, napping is a whole other ball of wax. The eating thing does not affect YOU or the other kids but the not napping DOES affect you. I would be telling that mom exactly what sleep routine she expect her to follow and she starts it TODAY. And tell her that not napping is grounds for termination to give her some incentive to get that kid on a napping schedule.
Personally, if I had the head's up on a kid like this there is NO WAY I would accept them into care. There are far too many "good, normal" kids with "good, normal" parents who actually know how to parent than to settle for a nightmare in the making.
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