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"Stop staring at meeeee!!!" **Help?**
Hey dayhomies!
I have not been around much, sadly. Too much to do, too little time. Hope you are all well.
I am pleading for your advice here.... I have a 3 y/o dcg and my own 5 y/o daughter. For the most part, they get along great. But, dcg has a difficult time self-entertaining. She pretty much follows me around for the morning while my daughter is at school, even to the bathroom (that is getting better, as I told her it was not necessary or appropriate) and while I am doing bum changes for the smallest ones. If I am tidying up from snack, etc she often just stands there and watches me. I tell her time and again, "Go play with toys". The playroom is just through a doorway, it's not "away" from me, really. I feel like she has a very hard time if there is not someone playing WITH her. And then of course, the smaller ones follow her and do the same and I can't turn around without stepping on someone!!!
Anyway, that in itself is not the biggest issue. The challenge is that it drives my daughter CRAZY when she just stands there, staring. They will play, and play nicely. If my daughter stops, to ask me something, or do something different; she just follows and stares, playing with her hair (which drives me nuts, as "fidgets" are one of my pet peeves, haha).
I have been coaching my daughter that:
a) she cannot up and leave a game or whatever that they are in the middle of, as that is not very fair. She has been much better with that.
b) it is only because the younger girl likes to play with her so much, and wants to do the same things she is doing. I don't know how far flattery goes with a 5 y/o? LoL
If my daughter is upset about something, maybe crying etc, it really makes her blow a fuse. She has turned and yelled "STOP STARING AT ME!!!" a number of times.
Is this her issue? Or daycare girl's? Or both?
I have been telling my daughter that she can turn away, or ask her nicely to go do something different. I have also been telling dcg that she needs to go find something to do. But inevitably, 15 seconds later she is standing there, across the room, with a toy in hand, just watching us/ my daughter.
Whatcha think???
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CREEPY! What are the child's favourite pastimes or toys? Can you get her set up at a table playing with something so she's on her own? I'm at a loss, sorry. I've had children who felt the need to tattle nonstop or need an adult's attention nonstop but I gradually taught them to play with the other children and talk to them instead of to me all the time. I kept telling them over and over to play with their friends. It sounds like you are already doing that. Consistency and patience, that's easy to say but difficult to endure day after day, I know!
Frederick Douglass
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.
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I had 2 children like this in the past. You can't even pick your nose if you wanted to, heaven forbid swearing under your breath. LOL
What I did was make them my assistants, I would ask them to help the smaller ones in the bathroom with the light or washing of hands, help with getting everyone else's coats and shoes on. I would hand them feather dusters and ask them to dust. I would give them some wipes and ask them go wipe down surfaces in the playroom etc...
These kids are are shadows and love being around us as they are mommy's girls and home bodies. They are amazing visual learners.
Don't get mad just try and understand the world from there perspective. In my experience they also love to draw, do puzzles and look at books. Maybe have an activity corner for them in the kitchen. These kids are also introverted and a lot of loud imaginative play exhausts them.
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She also misses her Mom like crazy and probably stares at you and DD because she yearns for that with her Mom. Am I right is she a major Mommies girl?
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