Just want to isolate myself but cant just close for a week or two :(

[DisneyPrincess]

Hey ladies. I was just wondering if any of you have ever been in the same boat. When your personal life is so bad, not because of the husband, or the children the money, but just feel depress because of many other reasons and you just feel like you want to be alone and isolate yourself... you cant because in this job, there's always kids around and they are constantly in need of attention. As in if you were working in an office, you would probably just isolate yourself in your office, go have lunch by yourself or even take a week or two off by doctors order. Here we cant just do that, first because we cant because it would put parents in trouble, and second because we wouldnt get paid.

Its tough to have to go through days when I just DONT FEEL LIKE IT at all. I have no program, I am not interesting in teaching anything or crafting...they are not even interested when I push myself to take out the crafting stuff, they just do it so quick to say ''finish'' or they almost stair and do nothing or make a total mess like the paper is covered by an inch of glue and nothing else even after repeating and repeating what they need to do, so I feel like my efforts are for nothing really !!

Thank god its so nice outside, I would stay out all day, but babies needs nap in the morning and the kids need snacks and diaper change and so on and so on, so at some point we have to be inside. Lately the kids here have had more free play then anything.

I am seeking profesional help but in the mean time, I still have to go through my days.

Oh boy :\

[Dreamalittledream]

So sorry that you're going through this. Please know that you are not alone. This is a tough, isolating job. We all have these days. Glad you're seeking some help; it was the best thing I could have done last year. Be sure and take time for yourself during nap time; the chores can wait. And don't feel bad about lots of free play time, it is so good for kids! I've really scaled back on my crafts (sometimes I feel like those are more for the parents than the kids...I do them maybe one a week) & tend to jump in on free play for on the spot learning, rather than a structured plan.

[Skysue]

Is there anyway you can get someone to come help you out for a few hours for a few days? Like your Mom? I have felt this way but I have come to learn that these kids feed off of our emotions and if I don't do fun stuff with them they start to get crabby and it makes it even harder on us.

Is DH helping you out at night with dinner and the kids, so you can go take a bubble bath, go for a walk, meet a friend for coffee etc... Personal time for you?

I went through this a few moths ago and even ordered pizza for my daycare kids for lunch on a Friday to minimize clean up.

I hope you feel better soon! Virtual hugs and kisses, know that you are beautiful, smart, and making a difference in the children's lives that you touch!

[DisneyPrincess]

Thanks ladies. I do get loads of help from hubby and I feel bad he has to put up with me in that stage, he works so hard also and has to come home to ''this''. My kids arent that young so I do have free time but... still feel depressed alot. My family is very far and I dont have friends here. Guess that makes it even harder.

Thanks for your nice thoughts :')

[Crayola kiddies]

I hear ya Disney.... My family is not close either ..... Hubby works two jobs.... Live in the country with no Neighbours .... Not a ton of friends that are home during the day. Pretty isolating but I treasure afternoon nap time .... I get 2.5-3 hours to myself.... Plus now that the weather is good we are outside all morning so no crafts and once my kids come home from school it's just outside with them .... Happy times are here.

[Monday 2 Friday Mama]

Hang in there Disney Mama - hopefully things will get better. You've already made some major steps towards helping yourself (by getting some help and being able to talk about how you're feeling) and being able to lean on your hubby. I have an awesome husband but he's not able to be a source of support for me. A couple of years ago he finally got some help and between meds and a good therapist he's come a long way. However, he just doesn't have the emotional stability to help me when I'm stressed or blue. Keep coming here - our jobs are both isolating and draining - and this cyber water cooler is a godsend. Just knowing that other people are shovelling the same s**t that I am helps. In the words of Winston Churchhill: "When you find yourself in Hell, for the love of God keep walking !" Just take it one day, one step at a time. You can do it. *Hugs and strength*

[bright sparks]

HOLY CANOLI ITS A LONG ONE....DEEP BREATH

DisneyPrincess, I am pretty sure I can relate to how you're feeling as I am in the same boat. Whoever you are seeing for help should be advising you ways to carry out self-care. It is imperative that you do this on a regular basis otherwise it could hinder your ability to work through this dark period with effectiveness and efficiency.

For some, selfcare may just be alone time to read, do nails, listen to music, take a nap but I imagine you are feeling pretty isolated having no family around you, no friends to speak of and working in an already isolating setting, so this probably isn't going to cut it long term and just from my experience you probably need something outside of the home with adult conversation and intelectual stimulation. Here are some ideas that I hope will help...

Book club-a great opportunity to meet a diverse group of people...check out the website meetup.com for other groups of people to meet up with based on your interests, hobbies and location.

Local Library-see if there are any clubs at the library. Maybe they meet Saturday mornings to do crafts, who knows but also try Micheals and bulk barn who do cake decorating courses which are relatively inexpensive.

Where are your favourite places? For me its the book store. I can literally spend an hour or two in Chapters and feel completely de-stressed or I imerse myself in a used book store which gives me a huge case of the happys.

The nice weather is here so go and walk through your local downtown, stop for a coffee, go to a music store anywhere that will make you happy.

Exercise such as cardio is really good for producing the happy hormone so at the very least go out and walk on a regular basis.

I think if you can do something outside your roles as wife, mother and daycare provider it is extremely important and gives you a chance to connect with who "YOU" are not the roles that you play. No matter how hard it is to find the time, you must prioritize this as otherwise it will be detromental to your recovery.

I have been suffering with ptsd for 2 1/2 years nearly now and having that and doing this job is brutal. It was triggered by an accident I had in 2010 but ultimatly is made up of traumas big and small right from early childhood which have never been processed but buried and not all of us are able to keep things under wraps like some can. Sometimes I am okay and other times I feel like I am dying inside so I have to schedule regular time off regardless of the daycare parents. Every time there is a holiday Monday I take the Thursday and Friday before off too. This gives me a wonderful 5 day break and my kids are in school on the Thursday and Friday too which allows me to just be "Amy". I make an extra effort to wear nicer clothes and do my hair and make up even if I don't have anywhere to go to.

It makes me very sad to hear your suffering at this time as I know the feeling first hand and it blows. Please don't feel guilty about the care you are giving to the kids. Maybe you could just change the free play up a little to cheer the wee ones up a bit with something as simple as rearranging the room, bringing out old toys or books you might have put away and even set up 2 or 3 of a particular toy at "stations" the night before, to provide a little structure to the free play and give some encouragement. Save your egg boxes, shoe boxes, paper towl tubes and when you have collected a few just have them in the middle of the room waiting for the kids in the morning. They will likely look at you like you are crazy but given a moment or two they will be building towers and having imaginative play before you know it. This is encouraging idependent play and gives you a chance to care for them from an observation stand point on the particularly tough days when you may be experiencing worsened detachment or emotions.

Please make sure you also keep offloading on here. Don't bottle it up, it is toxic. You can PM me anytime too. Its always much easier for me to focus on supporting and helping others than working on me lol

Keep your chin up

[mom-in-alberta]

Bright Sparks: you made ME feel better!! I am sure that you will help Disney too.

And Disney: I don't know how much more I can add... But just know that we are all here for listening if you need. (and we ALL need, sometimes)
Ultimately, you do what you need to do to take care of yourself!!

[Momof4]

Sorry DisneyP, hope you find someone who can help you out. I have suffered from depression off and on all my life, mostly because of 2 bad husbands (nox exes) and being a single Mom to 4 children, working 2 jobs to make ends meet, blah, blah. We all have different battles to fight. Nobody's is more important than anyone else's, just different, you know what I mean? But I know how you feel, believe me. Big hugs.

Keep talking to us, we're here for you. Personally, my daughter and I went out for pedicures and ice cream tonight to pamper ourselves because we were both having a bad week and we decided we deserved it! Call a friend or family member and do that, ok?

[JennJubie]

It's hard when you're feeling like that, and all you want to do is retreat. But the best thing you can do is to get up every morning and keep going ahead with your days. I've found in the past when things like this strike, (I suffer from anxiety), it's the little things that you do for yourself that make a difference. Read a good book, go out with a friend, do something silly and fun, have a food fight, (no, really, I'm serious). Most of all never be afraid to talk to someone, anyone. If you have someone who is willing to listen to you and let you get things off your mind - talk to them! Or us!