Parent of a 1 yr old having trouble transitioning to daycare

[cfred]

Hi there! The little gal's only a week in. I wouldn't worry about it too much at his point. Transition is different for all kids and I'm sure your provider is well versed with this if she's been in the biz for some time. I'm pretty good at 'pushing through' transition, as much as I (to be totally truthful), hate it. I know the process is short lived and a necessary evil. Kids take varying amounts of time adjusting. The worst I had took 3 mos....it was a little slice of hell, but we got through it

The fact that your daughter was fine at programs with you doesn't surprise me, nor does it surprise me that she couldn't have been bothered that you were there. However, I'm betting if you think back, she probably took a little time to leave your side? Kids will often move away from a parent a short distance, come back and check in. The distance will become greater as the child feels safer and sees that your response to the situation is favourable, but they always make their way back to 'check in'. This is called anchoring. She can't do this when you're not at daycare so she's very much aware that you're not there as her guage for the situation or as her safety net. The bond with the provider needs to be developed more so your baby looks to her for the security she would typically seek from you. This takes time and effort, but it will happen. It will be more likely to happen once your child is there for full days when your provider has a good stretch of time to really chip away at the process. At least that's been my experience.

One thing I do is try to find that special 'thing' that will bond me to a new child. With my latest 6 mos old, it was kissing her palms while she bottle fed. With a 1 year boy is was sharing my chocolate/banana smoothie with him. With another, it was blowing raspberries on his tummy during diaper changes. Every kid is different, but there's always 'something' that really blows their hair back and lets the provider in the door. Once she knows what that 'thing' is for your child, it'll be like a switch being flipped....bond established.

Often, providers are just happy to hear a client offer praise and acknowledgement of our efforts. These little guys are a LOT of work and we all put a tremendous amount of care into each child. Very often, clients don't realize and it goes unnoticed. A heartfelt thank you is often all that is needed. However, if you really want to get her something for dealing with the screaming......

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