I don't think you are a terrible person at all. I actually try not to pick kids up as much as possible. For me its just too hard on my back, and once I pick one up, they all want to be picked up. The only exception to me holding and cuddling them is when I am kneeling on the ground and they sit in my lap. I would just ignore the whining and redirect DCB. He will get the point eventually. Just encourage him to play or do other things on his own.

And I would tell dcm exactly what you are doing. There is no shame in what you are doing. Group care is different than caring for one child.