Frustrated with dcm and looking for advice...

[Artsand crafts]

When I started I just had a contract for parents with the basics. A few months ago that I joined this forum and thanks to the wise ladies' advice here I got to work on my policies. I never mentioned parents about the policies until they were finished. I just posted them in my web page and asked parents to read from them from there.

[zoomama]

thank you for that input, a&b. i was feeling a bit silly for not having this in place when i started. i totally respect your decision not to implement new policies with existing families, but i think i will just to keep all things equal. plus, the dcm mentioned above is much of the reason for finally taking the step of creating policies.
all in all, i feel totally good about my decision and momentarily got caught up in her drama. deep breath has been taken and i will simply move forward with fairness and inner peace and let the chips fall where they will. i'm fortunate to be in a good position as far as being able to be somewhat choosy with the families i take on.

[zoomama]

Just in case anyone is interested in how this ended...policy book was handed to parents on friday. Frustrating dcm texted me SUNDAY MORNING AND SUNDAY NIGHT (both times while I was in bed) (this was addressed in the policy book!!) and they will be pulling dcg as of end of june. I can honestly say i'm. ..relieved!!!

[playfelt]

And exactly where does this parent thing she is going to find care and not have to abide by policies. Again she will abuse a caregiver and they will say enough and make a rule to cover that. For most of us we all started with a basic policy and then added and adapted as we felt we were taken advantage of. That is how policies develop.

[Momof4]

Zoomama, feel very proud of yourself and don't worry about it. Not all families are happy with the policies we implement at our daycares. That's why they have to interview several of us and choose the ones who match their plans and expectations.

I started out without a contract too but by the end of my first year I knew it was really important to have all the policies in place and to stop letting controlling people walk all over me. That sounds like your client and I'm glad you aren't going to be sad to see them go. Great job!

[daycaremum]

Good riddance. You know how you want to run things and if she can't agree with what you have asked it is good she is going elsewhere. I have had parents sign on in the past agreeing to everything until a late fee applied to them, at which point they are upset and left. Better you know right away they aren't willing to follow your rules instead of them signing and causing issues later.

[zoomama]

Update...dcm texted me yesterday morning giving me 3 days notice that dcg would be gone BEGINNING of june!! Major confirmation that it's high time I have policies/deposits/contacts in place!!!

[heartsinit]

I am right there with you. I see why some people might ask, "why would you discuss it at all", but it sounds like you are an open minded person who values others opinions. In doing so you are able to make good decisions with all the info. The parent is lucky to work with someone who is conscious of the 'parents side' of the equation. Unfortunately too many people take this as a sign of weakness and begin to steam roll you with their ideas. They loose respect for you along the way, and BANG! Your resentment begins to build. Terrible combination for anyone in childcare. I have developed 2 techniques to battle this dilemma.
1. I have learned to take my interviews very seriously and tried to start listening to my gut when I start to get the feeling that I am dealing with an "Alpha Mom". It is hard to do. The thrill of filling a position is always so enjoyable, and of course everyone is on their best behaviour in the beginning, BUT you have to remember, that 'Alpha Moms" rarely respect anyone other than themselves and only 'pat those on the head' that simply agree with them constantly. In the past I have tried to 'work' with them and in doing so began running my business and conducting myself in a way that didn't work for me and felt incredibly awkward. Shutting down my typically 'open' nature and having to steal myself against their constant attempts to control me was incredibly stressful. MUCH worse than anything the kids could throw at me.
2. I look for parental input by examining the conversations they have with me. I don't directly ask anything related to the business. (ex: I need to know if my hours are sufficient so I will ask, "how are you finding your commute home from work?" Make up a reason you want to know. Your heart is in the right place, unfortunately you cannot expose it : (

Good luck.

Have I mentioned how refreshing it is to find a forum where people can talk openly about the stresses of this job without fearing gossip! LOVE IT!