I've never been invited to a daycare child's birthday either and wouldn't want to go. I mean, I adore these little guys all week long but my weekends are mine! I accept babies of all ages and find that even at 9 months of age they can usually crawl, play and interact with others just fine. Are you sure there isn't a physical problem with the child, what you describe is kind of frightening. Also, I would never insist on immunization, that's a very personal family decision and I don't have a right to interfere, but I do have a right to know whether a child is vaxed or not.