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  1. #1
    Euphoric !
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    239 Times in 191 Posts

    Your own children?

    How do they seem to like you running a daycare?
    I ask because I am not sure if I am not being very understanding of my own kids' feelings, or if they are just being "suckys". lol
    I have a 10 y/o son, almost 8 y/o son, and 4 y/o daughter. My daughter doesn't seem to mind having other kids around. She's kind of excited to have days off ("oh, it's a FAMILY day!!") and I have noticed some certain changes in her behaviour, but in general, she does all right.
    My younger boy is about the same. I think he would rather not have all these children in his home, but he does fine, too.
    The real challenge come in with my eldest. He is a great kid, if I say so myself. However, he really takes issue with the fact that we have the children here that we do. Well, just one, really. He finds it "unfair" that there is a 5 y/o that he "has" to play with. Now, let me just say that I really don't MAKE him play with the d/c kids. He often chooses to, because c'mon, what else is he going to do? There have been a couple of times that I have paid him extra allowance to help out, in order to free my hands up for some other tasks. He knows that when he needs his space, he can go to his room (we keep his "special" things in there) to chill, read or play. He can also go outside to play (we have a couple acres of yard). He just needs to tell me that he needs a little bit of down-time. And I have asked that he ensure he is not right in the middle of a game with the other kids and just walk away. He has also had his best friend over virtually every single afternoon so far this summer. (I won't let him go over there because the boy's parents are working during the day and he is getting watched over by his 13 y/o brother)
    He blew up in tears today because he doesn't feel like he is getting to do what he "wants to do" and "this summer sucks". I have to admit, my first reaction is.... tough tooties! Things don't always go the way we wish they could, exactly. I encouraged him to look at all the positives, like the fact that my husband is home early enough most days to play a game of water tag in the afternoon, or that he has been doing some pretty fun stuff in the evenings and weekends.
    As much as I want to be compassionate, and understanding of the fact that this is his home, etc.... we have had discussions about what the alternative is (ie. I go to work, and they end up in daycare themselves). Do you have any suggestions? Do I stay firm on what I have been telling him? Or am I being too ignorant of his feelings?
    Grrrr. Probably doesn't help that pre-teen attitude is rearing it's ugly head....

  2. #2
    Euphoric !
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Ottawa, Ontario
    1,468 Times in 1,125 Posts
    The fact his friend is virtually free to do as he pleases it part of the issue. Does his friend and brother go to the neighbourhood park, pool, on their own. Do his other friends go to summer camps and therefore have outings to museums, etc. ie is he feeling left out of age appropriate things because you are busy with the daycare and not able to take him to do these things too. With school out also means rules are out - to a certain extent - and it could also be that because of the daycare they are feeling their days are still too rigid - meals at certain times, no snacking whenever you want to, no watching tv or videos all day just to have a lazy day.

    With the exception of your youngest the boys are old enough to do things on their own in terms of get snacks, hang out in their room, or another room in the house than the daycare space. Do you have a dedicated playroom or does the daycare kind of take over the whole house meaning your own children are relegated to their rooms for privacy. Are their rooms used for naptime so even that puts them out of there.

    If they are feeling trapped because you are trapped in the house with the daycare could you hire a teen down the street to take them out to do something like go to a movie or could you put them into a camp program for a week.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    102 Times in 59 Posts
    I think for the most part my kids are okay with my daycare. Sometimes they don't like it but I try my best to give them a lot of freedom away from the daycare. My kids are 10 and 5. Our neighbourhood is great in terms of kids, they are literally everywhere so my kids get to go outside and play with their friends which I think helps a lot. When ever they do complain I just tell them that if I didn't do this then they would have to go to daycare themselves and wouldn't be able to be at home to play with their own toys or friends whenever they wanted...that changes their tune pretty quickly.
    The Daycare Room ~ A forum for providers ~

  4. #4
    Euphoric ! Sandbox Sally's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    292 Times in 225 Posts
    My kids are doing quite well with the daycare. I have an 11yo (girl), a 9yo (girl) and a 7yo (boy). They have the entire finished basement that's their own, and when the little guys are not napping, they can go upstairs too, where there is a computer and a TV, as well as other toys. My girls actually seem to love having the toddlers here, but they do moan and complain when I drag them to the OEYC program at the playground twice a week. I think it's silly that they complain, as they are free to run about the parks as they wish...sigh.

    We ARE kinda stuck to the house though, and I realize that this is frustrating for them. I am looking into day camps now. I agree with the other posters who say that this might be a good solution for your oldest as well. LOL He might even start complaining that he wants to be home again!

  5. #5
    Euphoric !
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    239 Times in 191 Posts
    Thanks very much girls!!
    Playfelt; I think you are bang on in that his "buddy" is free to stay up til 2, sleep til 12, play X-box all day, and generally laze around (at 10!!!). What MY poor, "deprived" boy doesn't realize is that (daycare or not), this is just not going to happen for him anyway!
    We spoke a little more last night, and came to some more agreements. He told me he was having kind of a bad/grumpy day, and that he was just frustrated. He said he does understand everything we have discussed previously.
    Part of the problem is that the 5 y/o we have here is a little.... intense. He insists that it would be better if it was all small kids, but I told him that the fact is; he is here. We will deal with what we have, not "shoulda-woulda-coulda". Another aspect is that the daycare has pretty well taken up the majority of the home. It will be different when our family moves out of the basement suite we have and I am running daycare out of there. Easier to delineate family space and daycare space. For now we agree that he can chill in his room, or find some quiet outside (he has looooots of room there). I have moved naptime arrangements, so that there is nobody sleeping in his room, unless (and this happens rarely) we have all our p/t kids on one day.
    He does have hockey camp coming up in August, which will get him out of the house for a few days. I think I will encourage he and his brother to walk around the neighborhood across the street from us on occasion, go to the park and so on. Maybe give them a couple bucks for an extra treat. The corner store is quite a ways away, but I think they are old enough now.
    Appreciate the input!!!

  6. #6
    Starting to feel at home...
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    7 Times in 7 Posts
    My kids are much younger, and now love that their friends are here (except for 1-which is in another rather long post!) but it took a while for them esepcially my daugther to adjust. They sometimes tell me they wish we didnt have daycare anymore, but like someone else had said, I explain the alternative and as soon as they hear that they will have to go to another daycare they are over it! Most of the time, they are dissappointed when daycare is not here (ie weekends and holidays). I hadnt thought that far ahead when my own kids are older and I'll have kids that are quite a bit younger than them and the challenges that will pose.....

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