Don't feel bad! I totally know that feeling! DCB who I terminated a couple of months back, used to cry out in his sleep several times every naptime...sometimes he would sit up screaming and I would have to go and sush him back at least once every naptime (a stern "go to sleep" did the trick), but it disturbed the others' sleep and I never got any rest as I was always running up and down keeping him quiet. I resented him too I know it was not his fault, but it was ultra frustrating! He had so many other issues too...that they all compounded during naptime and made me feel a way I have never felt about a child. I was ashamed to admit it, but now I realize I am human...there are certain things I just cannot accept and cannot let roll off and certain personalities that I just don't jive with. Realizing this has freed me up in a way to allow myself to do what I know I must do, even when it is hard and I feel like a failure as a provider. I am trying to decide whether to terminate another child (ironically his replacement) now and I think I am almost there with giving myself permission to do it because I know it will make my days easier. This is not your fault! Go easy on yourself.