Parents who let kids act crazy

[Michelyn]

I wonder how the mom is feeling about these pick ups and drop offs. Perhaps she feels as though her hands are tied in disciplining in front of you for fear of what you may think and she also may be feeling extreme guilt over leaving her children (hence the overblown goodbyes)

Maybe try asking her how she feels about these drop offs/pick ups and if she would like any help in making the transitions smoother. If she is open to your help, then I would try gently suggesting a quick drop off routine - maybe one hug and two kisses. Reassure mom that her daughter knows how much she is loved and that mom is doing a great job.

At pick up - maybe prepare the daughter ahead of mom's arrival. Tell her your own expectations of behaviour and repeat these expectations in front of mom. If the child misbehaves, reassure mom that she can handle it and then excuse yourself to another part of the home.

It sounds as though mom needs some empowerment. As a team, I'm sure the two of you can work together...