Wants to go in the stroller!

[torontokids]

So my big kids all walk and my back/arms etc like it this way. I normally use the stroller as a consequence for the kids that don't know how to walk/follow the rules.

My new dcb (3 yo) makes a big stink today when we go for a walk as he wants to go in the stroller. Today I had 2 empty spots as I have a triple and I just had big kids today aside from my 16 mos old. So his mom carries him along side us as we walk to the end of the street to go to the park. We had planned this big park outing so I decided not to refuse to go if he couldn't walk as I also knew he wouldn't care and it would be a punishment for the other kids/me. So I put him in the stroller and the whole walk I talk up the "big kids" and how proud I am of them etc/ When we get to the first park I leave him in the stroller and let the other kids play for a bit as a consequence for not walking (I know, not a natural consequence as I would have liked but I worked with what I had). After 30 mins we go to walk to the bigger park and he again refuses to walk. I did that same thing but I left him in the stroller even longer at the next park. One the way home, the same thing but now the other big kids want a ride as they have been walking forever. So I promised that all the big kids that walk to the park/daycare will get a reward for doing what they are supposed to.

I am going to talk to the parents because I asked the mom and she said he is used to going in a stroller and see if they can walk with him more so he sees the expectations are now different that he is turning 3 in 2 wks.

Other thoughts?

[sunnydays]

I have a little girl who is 3 1/2 and she is used to riding in the stroller with her parents as well. I have a six seater stroller, so I ended up just letting her ride, but encouraging her to walk when she is ready. A couple of weeks ago she started walking on her own volition and she is soooo proud of herself and doing soooo well! She is not a very physical child and parents have been quite protective, so I just decided to wait until she was ready...but then I have the space in the stroller...LOL. For you, when the other babies are there he will not be able to ride right, so no choice, he has to walk. Lots of positive reinforcement helps of course...with my dcg I praise her up and down every time she walks even a block and she puffs up with pride. Maybe you could have a small reward (like a stamp or sticker) for making it to the park?

[Artsand crafts]

I start with infants so they have enough time to practice our walking outside. I am patient. I let them seat at the beginning when they look tired or they want to. They rest a little bit and they go to walk again. As the time goes they start getting in shape for our walks. Currently my kids (between 18 to 24 months) walk between 45min to 1.25 hrs straight (well, we stop to drink water a few times). Maybe that approach could help with your boy. When I received older kids in the beginning we did not walk that much so I am not sure how it would work for you. But I guess, same as adults they need to get in shape if they are not used to move to much.

[playfelt]

Make sure you fill up the empty seats in the stroller with stuff so there is no room. Another option is to get another used stroller and then take whichever stroller fits the number of kids that need to ride - ie no empty seats. As long as there is a seat he will expect to use it.

[Momof4]

Well, I'm a big old bully because I have 2 of my one year old children walking as much as possible and only put them in the stroller when we are walking down the sidewalks with my 2 walkers in their backpacks attached to my arms. But as soon as we reach the park or other safe place they are all set free to get exercise.

[monkeymama]

my rule is once you are 2, you are walking lol! I also have a triple stroller but only pull it out if I have 3 little ones. If not out comes the double or single or whatever is needed....He can cry and make a stink the whole way but he will walk...when he gets to the park he misses out on the fun because he wasn't behaving like a big kid...usually only take one instance and they wise up...I have no patience for spoiled and babied kids, at home fine nothing I can do about it, in my home no way lol

[torontokids]

Yeah, my problem is definitely bringing the triple stroller with me. I own multiple strollers but I brought the triple because it is quite a far walk for some of these kids and wanted it as an option for the walk home.

I think I will fill the empty seat with our sand toys and reward my walkers. The funny thing is, I have a smaller group on Fri and I started calling it "Big Kid Fridays" where we can do all kinds of big kid stuff because we are not held back by having a larger group/babies. I think I will talk this up more and set up a sticker/reward system for big kid behaviour e.g. potty, walking, helping the little kids, eating, trying new foods and use our Friday special excursions as the big reward at the end of the week for all their big kid behaviour.

Thanks for the advice.

[Momof4]

Hmmmm, that brings up another topic entirely. I don't have any reward systems like you mentioned with the stickers Torontokids and never really thought about it before. When we arrive home from a morning where the children have been really well behaved the entire time I tell them I'm so proud of them for being extra good and having so much fun all morning and we have a big group hug. I just realized hugs and verbal praise are my only rewards around here! For good behaviour at meals, successful potty training, cleaning up when asked,etc.

I suppose what I'm saying is that I believe children should know what is expected of them and that good behaviour isn't something special, it should be constant, you know? Every evening at pickup time and the next morning I tell the children and the parents what we will be doing or where we will be going so that everyone is dressed appropriately and the children know what to expect from the day. It isn't often that I have to change plans because the children are misbehaving. Ok, I'm done rambling!

[torontokids]

I hear what you are saying Momof4 and I agree with you almost completely. I agree that it is important that children have an understanding of what is expected of them and they do in my program. However I think there is no harm in a reward system as it is really just a visual (a sticker/check mark) tracking the praise you are giving them. The kids in my program already get plenty of positive reinforcement and eagerly seek it my approval, however this new boy seems indifferent. My hope with having a visual was to encourage my new dcb who doesn't have an understanding of what is expected of him (just started this week) and also English isn't his first language and has no desire to practice big kid skills e.g. he's not potty trained, babied at home etc. Sometimes kids need that push and when they see their peers doing these things it lights a fire under them!

[Momof4]

Thanks Torontokids, you have given me food for thought if I run into this kind of child in the future, I really appreciate the insights.