Need some help please! *LONG post*

[sunnydays]

I don't think you have to use time-outs necessarily...but you have to do SOMETHING! You need to find a consequence that works for you and for her or she will get worse and worse. I don't use a ton of time-outs, but for some things I do use them...mainly agression. I have a little one in my care who just turned 2 recently and is almost non-verbal. Yesterday he decided to hit me every time I told him not to do something, so I put him in a booster seat for a time-out each time and had him hug me to say sorry after. Well, today, twice he was about to hit me and stopped himself and hugged me instead...LOL. At your daughter's age, she can learn very quickly what is and is not acceptable behaviour. Hitting is not an emotion and neither is screaming or yelling. They are products of an emotion and they are not acceptable behaviours no matter how she is feeling. You are not stopped her from feeling, but rather stopping her from acting in a disrespectful way.

my struggle with timeouts is 1) i just don't think my kid is receptive to them. she is too strong-willed. i know how this sounds coming from the mouth of a parent, but i was a nanny for 10 years and know the power of the timeout well! but i've met kids who just don't respond and my daughter seems to be one of them. in desperation i have told her to sit on the stairs, but it only makes the situation go from 2 to 13 on a scale of 10. she freaks out more and runs away. and 2) my daughter is just 2 and while she has lots of words, i just don't think she has developed her ability to use them. her temperament is such that she reacts physically first and while yes, this is not an acceptable way to react, i don't want to "punish" her for feeling that emotion. FWIW, i know i am making my own life difficult here by having that view of timeouts and i stand in no judgement of parents who use them. i know we all have to do what works for our kids.