As has already been said, your daughter needs consequences. It also sounds like she may need to start developing some self regulation strategies e.g. deep breathing, walking away if upset, talking about her feelings, taking a break, having a drink of water etc. Help her find what works with her then coach her to do so. Have all the kids practice these strategies as this is good for all to learn. When we do "if your happy and your know it" my kids all know our version which has to do with this e.g. "if your mad and you know it take deep breaths." They all coach each other to do this now when upset. You can also incorporate yoga and meditation into your day with the kids to help teach this regulation as well. Lastly, as other have mentioned you need to actually change your focus to focus on your job first. that may sound contradictory as you are home to be with your daughter but this will actually help her to fall in line so she can be with the group. Have the program become more structured and balance your time more between the other girls. She cannot have your attention every time she needs it. Imagine life with a sibling! I would also recommend you don't do the cuddles in bed during dc hours. This can be reserved for the evening or special 1:1 time before her nap after the other girls are down.
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