Anyone else notice kids social interactions changing at 5 yrs old?

[eoinsmom]

They haven't even started Kindergarten yet, but I knew it was likely coming. I actually let DCG's twin older brothers go earlier this year for the same reasons, they were 7 years old, and it was mostly the one brother (who she idolizes) that had the terrible attitude. I was hoping that since she has been with me longer and since a younger age that maybe it wouldn't be the same, but alas the 'cool' brother has won out in being the biggest influence on her behaviour. I had thought that some negative influences would happen once my son got into school, and was expecting this to start in the fall but a tiny part of me still hoped that he would stay sweet and kind Talking to DCG's mom today, she tells me that at her recent birthday party she was very mean to one of her best friends - apparently she opened the gift said "I hate this" and threw it away, then refused to acknowledge this girl for the rest of the party. Mom says that she didn't know what to do, but that she was embarassed and it was totally inappropriate. Today, I was on top of them all day long, reminding that it was not ok to tease, call other names, throw things around....it just makes me sad that kids are so easily influenced by their peers. And that they can be so mean to each other, even if they sometimes don't really know what they are doing at this age.

[sunnydays]

While it is normal to test at certain ages and stages, don't let this become an excuse to not deal with the behaviours. It sounds like you are doing your best, but the mom who said her child said she hated the gift and then wouldn't talk to her friend for the rest of the party...and she didn't know what to do? I would have laid down the law right then and there. That is extremely rude behaviour and no age or stage justifies it. I would have told the child to apologize and thank her friend for the gift and include her friend in her play or she could spend the rest of her party alone in her room...and I would be serious! Just because it's her birthday does not give her the right to be rude. I recently went to a birthday party of a school friend of my 5 year old. The child opened all of her gifts without saying one thank you...I was horrified! Parents really need to step up to the plate and teach their kids how to behave properly and politely (not saying you don't do this...it was the birthday story that got me going..LOL). There need to be consequences for being mean...it is not acceptable. You can remove priveleges, etc if you find them teasing. Just telling them will probably not have much effect until they feel the consequences of their actions.

[eoinsmom]

Thanks Sunnydays, I'm with you completely on the party issue. I couldn't believe that a kid would do that! If that happened with my son, party would be over and gifts would be gone. That is totally unacceptable and extremely rude; after I heard this I had a talk with my son about his upcoming birthday, and that if he didn't get all the things he was hoping for that he still needed to say thank you to everyone and be happy that friends came and gave him a gift. It just drive me bonkers when kids expect to get whatever they want, whenever they want! He has been pining for a lego set for months now, but has to save up his own chore money to buy it Anyhow, I expected this kind of behaviour to start but its not going to happen here. DCG can be mouthy to her parents (which she is, as were her brothers, at pick up times - major tantrums at 5, 6, 7 years old!) but not at my house. When the teasing or picking on other kids starts, the teaser gets to go sit alone until they can play nicely with the other kids. This particular DCG often will burst into tears whenever you reprimand her, and go hide and cry rather than apologizing and coming back to play.