What the hell Vent

[Big Hearts]

A 2.5 weeks ago I gave a family notice that I was no longer going to care for their child. The boy was with me almost two months, He wasn't napping(and keeping the other kids up) or eating or even drinking. Every day I sent home a daily report and I would verbally tell them the issues we had that day. On his birthday we has a small party and I even sent home a gift, every day he came he was smiling and happy, same with when he went home. I was pleasant the hole 2.5 weeks and mom was still chatty and nice to me. Yesterday the dad picked up the boy and was an ass. He said he was going to call in a complaint because his son yells now and never did before he started here.as well I gave them notice the weekend of mothers day and that wasn't professional. I told him I wish him well and he said he doesn't wish me well. He said this a few times. And he didn't like my add up on kijij looking for another kid. I told him I was filling the spot. I am so upset I couldn't sleep last night, my stomach is flip...I am so sick of this, I am seriously thinking of shutting down.

[daycarewhisperer]

You just ran into an adult who doesn't want to have a no come his way. He's just saying words to you. The complaint to the state is a serious series of words so I would be prepared for a visit.

It's okay that he doesn't want your no. He has a right to his little feelings. Just suck it up and poof them out of your head. Be happy he told you in advance of the complaint and get your house ready for an inspection. In my experience, when a family is termed they almost always make a complaint. It is part of the process. You can't take it personally. It is their final gesture to remain in the one up position in the relationship. When you term they aren't on top. When they cause harm to you by opening the door to an inspection and possibly having their complaint be on your public file, they are back on top.

If you do everything right by being professional and giving a fair notice then the parent will focus on HOW you termed and WHEN you termed. There's really not anything else to gain a position. There isn't a secret formula to tell them "no" and have them be understanding and fair about it. You can be kind, generous, fair, sweet, etc... but what they focus on is the NO.

Parents want to term YOU. They want to be in the employer like position and tell YOU when they will use your service. It doesn't really occur to parents who haven't been termed before that you can or will do that. When they are hit with a term they are blindsided because they look at you thru the eyes of that you are there to serve them and you want their money. When the service ends and you aren't interested in the money AND they have to find someone else to give them the deal you are giving them or better for the same or less money then they realize that they weren't the boss of you after all. That's a hard pill to swallow so they lash out with what YOU did and try to right their position by having the final say by filing a complaint.

[Sassygirl]

What a jerk. I am sorry that is happening. I don't think he would report you but who knows. Some people are just like that. Hopefully you are able to replace quickly.

[treeholm]

I've never heard of a complaint leading to an inspection... who would inspect? Isn't this a private business? Unless I'm going over ratio and breaking rules in the DNA, who would be authorized to inspect my home based on a parent complaint? I'm curious, because I've never heard of anyone having the authority to do this unless it's a DNA violation.

[mimi]

File a complaint because their child is yelling? Sigh. DaycareWhisper hit the nail on the head for dads reaction to hearing "no" and the one upmanship scenario. What an idiot. Should you have to deal with an inspection, be confident and give good eye contact as you have nothing to hide and did nothing wrong.

[Crayola kiddies]

Tree holm that's what I was wondering !! I guess if the guy fabricated a bunch if crap like saying she's over ratio or something. But generally when someone says "I'm going to report you" they are just blowing smoke up your ass....

[2cuteboys]

I'm with an agency, so in my case that's who they'd be complaining to, and who would come to inspect if that was to happen.

The ladies I answer to with the agency have told me that they really try to weed out what actually happened, rather than taking a parent at their word. Ultimately it would be up to them to decide if a complaint is valid and if it should go in our provider file. I'd think that a complaint after a termination would be pretty common, whoever is dealing with it should be able to take your side.

In the case of an agency like mine, I might give them a call first and explain the situation so they get your word before that awful dads.

[2cuteboys]

If you think he is even going to complain... Like the others said, he might just be trying to freak you out.

[Big Hearts]

Thanks guys. In Winnipeg I think it is the better business bureau. I just hope he doesn't bash me on kijij where I place adds.

[busydaycarelady]

Wow. What a jerk. Sorry you've got to deal with him. You've done nothing wrong. I don't think your agency would inspect you because he says his kid learned yelling from daycare.....even if they did you haven't done anything wrong. If your agency calls, explain the scenario to them and his unprofessional and childish behavior. I hope you have a much better day today!