What would you do? (nap issue)

[Lee-Bee]

I believe sleep is crucial to the brain and body's development and as parents (and caregivers) we need to ensure our children learn to like, value, appreciate sleep.

My just turned 3 yr old has big naps still and sleeps 11-12hrs at night. On occasion she doesn't need a nap BUT she still goes to bed with the same routine and she happily lies there near silent for 2 hrs. She sings, talks, plays and stares at the ceiling. There are other nights where she did a huge nap and therefore isn't ready for sleep at 8pm...but she is in bed, alone in the dark at 8pm and she again just lies there still, quiet and calm.

I think we NEED to have children learn to appreciate the still and quiet time. They need to learn to just think and process and relax. BUT this is a long, painful process for the adult because it means months and years of training on our part to make sure we do NOT allow poor sleep habits to form. It is just easier to exhaust kids so they don't put up a fuss or to cave to their many demands to stall the bed routine or to engage when they try to get up over and over and over. My daughter is HIGH energy, non-stop chatterbox with a very fast moving brain (like turbo speed) but she knows she is to rest in bed when we put her there. She knows she is not allowed to get out of bed once we put her there. This process was learned through a lot of work on our part. We NEVER left her to cry it out or anything like that...we just slowly worked to the end goal we wanted and we made sure to never allow her sleep to get to something we didn't want. If you don't want your 3 yr old running out of their bed all night you don't let you infant out of their bed at night.

It is harder to untrain than it is to train.

A movie at nap time provides NO rest for the child, though it is a totally acceptable way to keep them distracted so you get YOUR rest which is also crucial. But what goes on the in the brain of a child watching tv is NOTHING like rest. I am not against tv by any means but we do need to be careful when we use the terms rest with watching tv.

[MommaL]

Wow, there's some strong opinions on this thread (which I see if from 2011 ). I felt the need to chime in because I see things differently than most people on this topic. As a daycare provider, I absolutely understand the need to have a break in the afternoon. But as a parent of a 3 year old who if he naps during the afternoon is up past 10:00 at night, I can also relate to all those parents who beg their providers not to make their children nap. It's a vicious cycle. Of course if children are up until 10:00 at night then they are not ready to get up at 6:00-6:30 in the morning when most working parents have to get them up. Then they are miserable by late morning, which makes providers think that clearly the child still needs a daily nap. What many people don't realize is that if these particular children did not nap and went to bed at a normal time each night, then they would have a good long sleep and be well rested and happy during the day.

So am I selfish, whiny parent because I want my child to go to sleep before I do at night? Am I bad because I want them to wake up rested in the morning instead of me trying to drag them out of bed? Just like daycare providers who like some down time during the day, are working parents not entitled to some down time at night? We too have taught our kids that if they can't fall asleep that they should just lay in bed. I'm very fortunate that neither of my kids are constantly getting up or calling out. But I wouldn't expect them to do that for 2+ hours on a regular basis.

I do have quiet time at my daycare, but I respect the parent's wishes if they ask that their child not nap and just do quiet activities instead. I'm not suffering because of it. I still relax during that time. And parents aren't evil (as least most aren't). They aren't making such a request to be manipulative. They don't need to be trained. They just know what their child needs.

[ebhappydc]

Dcb here just turned 4 so they have asked me to remove his cot and give him quiet activities to do with the idea he'll sleep better at night and be ready for JK. This isn't a problem at all for me, the kid is a gem. Only thing is he always falls asleep on his activity on the rug for last hour and I'm not going to wake him every time he sleeps. He loves sleeping mid day. Do u let the older kids sleep if they happen to fall asleep?