Totally on the same page. I also have 4 kids, the oldest of whom are 10 and 8. At this point in time, they no longer require my "care" anymore. I am pretty much around just to make food, and ensure the house doesn't burn down, lol!
If I was a licensed dayhome, they would still count in my ratios, and therefore I could only take in 2 more kids. I can't make a living off that, long term. Hence, I am private.
And you're right that it's the provider, not how many children necessarily. Just a week or two ago, our city had a child almost drown at the local pool. He was there with the provider and only one other child!! She had never taken him swimming, had no idea what his capabilities were, and let him wander over to the other side of the pool. Yikes....