Advice Please!! Meltdowns at drop off!

[DaycareLady]

I really need some advice, I have a 2 year old girl that has been with me for a few months (she comes 3 days a week all in a row). I have posted about this little one before, ruling the house and having late bedtimes but aside from all of that (things I cannot control) she knows her tricks don't work here and she follows the rules and listens fairly well. However, her drop offs are horrible! Full out crying/screaming, clinging to her Dad, etc. he is good about not prolonging it most times and usually hands her over to me kicking and screaming and after a few mins when she realizes I am not going to play into her cherades she stops. I understand kids crying at drop off, my son used to do it too but this is intense! It sets my anxiety and nerves sky high and starts my day on such a bad note! Lately I have just not wanted to do daycare at all and definitely not long term, and I think a lot of these feelings are stemming from her. My issue is that drop offs happen right in the middle of our playroom so all the kids are seeing this, and are starting to show behaviour because of it and a lot of times all the babies start crying because of the whole scene...then I am trying to consol them while dealing with this other child/parent and it is just getting ridiculous. Usually the parents bring their children up the stairs and drop them off (we have a half door that acts as a baby gate to shield the stairs so parents come in a drop off there), should I start asking Dad to not come up the stairs until he has said his goodbyes and calmed the child and is ready to hand her over immediently without lingering? How do I tell him in a nice way that I don't want all the other kids seeing her act that way (they will still hear it but won't see it). What should I do without sounding insensitive? She really is fine the rest of the day, naps great, etc so I have no reason to term her other than these drop offs! Please help!!

[Sassygirl]

Yikes! Some of these dckiddos really give us a run for our money! I have a similar situation with a part timer who comes on Wed only. He clutches mom and screams "Mommy" its AWFUL. Tuesday night before I have so much anxiety about his morning drop off. His behaviour doesn't upset my other kids as they are napping and he arrives at 10.
I would ask Dad to drop off in a different area and make it as quick as possible. Have something ready that this kid likes, their fave toy or book, or if all else fails a highchair or playpen ready to put them in until they can calm themselves.

[Crayola kiddies]

I would tell the parent that these outbursts are disruptive and upsetting to the other children .... At the very least they are beginning to think there is something wrong with being there ... And that he needs to say goodbye hug and kiss his child prior to coming in the door and then leave immediately. You will bring the child thru the gate . I would not try to console the child I would take her to the couch/corner/chair/quiet space and tell her to stay there till she has a smile on her face and she is ready to join in.... I would not give her any attention what so ever..... If you feel her lack if sleep is part of the problem put her right to bed so 30-45 mins

[2cuteboys]

Is her issue completely based on getting her way/controlling the situation? I like the above suggestions.

I had a 3yo boy who had issues adjusting earlier this year and was having anxiety as soon as they'd get in the car in the morning. What I did was I'd write out a few of the fun things that we did during the day on their note to go home, and encouraged the parents to talk about them at supper or before bed, and again during breakfast before they came. Did the trick, as it reminded him that day care means fun things in addition to mom/dad leaving.

Probably wont work if her behaviour is just to be "queen bee," but it might be worth a shot.

[DaycareLady]

thanks so much ladies!! You have helped me SO much!! I will talk to the Mom tonight about drop offs being done at the bottom of the stairs from now on and I also love the idea about writing out some of the fun things she did to talk about with her parents.