Yup, go talk to a lawyer. All I know is that if I don't have a divorce agreement in hand indicating that the mother has sole custody, I would have to release the child to his father. Crazy or not, it comes down to the law. No daycare is going to open themselves or the kids in their care to your girlfriend's crazy ex or the powers that be. Their hands are bound by the laws of the land. You and your girlfriend need to see a lawyer and would be well advised to sinking some money into a proper custody agreement naming her as custodial parent.

I've got a little experience with this, so here's what I've got that can get the ball rolling on legal stuff- He'll probably fight the custodial parent thing, so DOCUMENT EVERYTHING to prove he's perhaps not the stuff of solid parenting. Every hostile word, every strange moment, every attempt at intimidation, every example of inappropriate parenting.....write it ALL down with dates, times, occurrences. This will set up a visible pattern of behaviour a judge can see. In addition, if the child's safety is a concern when in the father's care (sounds like it is), stop sending him. It really is as simple as that, BUT there will be a legal repercussions to deal with. Our legal system runs like molasses....painfull y slow. And I'm betting, if Dad's got some drug problems, there isn't likely enough money to carry on too far in the legal system. If you pull access, things will start moving towards court action. The judge, during case conference (where both sides talk about the motions they want to bring to the table at the motion hearing), the judge will question the decision to pull access and ask for your girlfriend to reinstate it. Since no rulings are handed down at this point, he can't force you, but will suggest supervised access because the 'child has the right to see his father'. DO NOT argue this. Supervised is great, but don't agree to it with relatives. I went the route of wanting a family assessment done (akin to psyche assessment on him) so had him go to a daycare facility under the watch of social workers. Your side will have to pay the supervised access and assessment if it's found to be that's he's super dad, but it likely won't get that far. I believe but may remember inappropriately, but I think you have to have your lawyer call in 'The Office of The Children's Lawyer' on this, but not 100% sure. With your documented incidents indicating a history of drug use, irrational, violent, hostile behaviour, I don't think you'll have a problem. Also during this case conference, see if you can get the judge to recommend an 'interim custody order'. Mine was nothing more than a hand written note from my lawyer indicating that I had temporary sole custody of our children until such time that we had come to a final custody agreement - it was signed by all of us. At some point during all of this (takes months), he's probably going to become very hostile. Don't threaten to call the police....actually do it. If he's picked up for domestic, he'll be out of your hair for quite some time, it will really help your case and will look after the issue of picking the child up at daycare (I think - check into that though).If you can't afford a lawyer, I'm not sure what to tell you. Really, your custody needs to be sorted out. When dealing with lawyers and judges, let him be the demonstrative lunatic. Do not ever be demonstrative or over act in the courtroom. An air of cool, calm and maintaining dignity with a tinge of sadness is the way to be

Good luck.