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  1. #1
    Euphoric !
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    DCB clingy at drop off

    My 3 yo dcb has become super clingy with mom at drop off. I asked mom about it today via email and she said that he has given her a hard time about coming the last few days. She said he misses her and wants to stay home with her. This child is going through a divorce (they officially separated in Feb when he started with me) and she is moving next week again out of their family home into an apartment.

    The mom seems concerned he doesn't want to come but doesn't feel it's related to the divorce as this isn't "new." He has started talking a lot at daycare about his parents divorce so I wouldn't be surprised if this is at least part of it. I guess I am feeling worried that she thinks the daycare/me is the problem although she hasn't verbalized this. Am I just getting worried about nothing or should I probe further? She has mentioned the last few times she dropped him off that he would have fun with "X" (another dcb) and also seemed disappointed to hear this week was his last week. Her son rarely plays with "X" so I am wondering if they have concerns that he only has my 3 yo daughter to play with and there are some issue there that they won't voice to me as her mother?

    I am a very "tell it like it is" person and so have inquired what the issue is. The mom says she doesn't know. Should I just leave it at that and see if this passes?

  2. #2
    Euphoric !
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    Don't just leave it without having your ads ready to go up. These situations rarely work out in our favour because it is a mom that is in denial of the cause - the stressor is moving from the family home. 3 year olds do not like change. Document what child says at daycare but do not ask him leading questions.

    I would go under the assumption the mom is going to leave - where is the apartment in relation to where you are.

  3. #3
    Euphoric !
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    They moved into my area so their other boy could stay at his school and the 3 yo could stay with me. i just found out where they are and their is a centre near them that always has a spot. I don't think that says a lot about the place though

  4. #4
    Expansive... Artsand crafts's Avatar
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    I am almost sure the behavior is related to the divorce. I have had a couple of families that started the process with me when that happened. One of the kids started to stutter around that time and other had potty regressions and crying at drop off. Even the behavior was shown before they started to talk about divorce I think the changes in the family dynamics happened before that. I would also, put my adds on. It must be a hard situation for a family to go through. Unfortunately it seems that she can pull off any time if she believes your daycare is making her situation worse.

  5. #5
    Starting to feel at home... zoomama's Avatar
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    I have the same situation with clingy, 3 yr old dcb at drop off. He's had behavioral issues lately, but nothing major. As far as I know all is normal at home except mom is expecting. The clinging started before she was pregnant, though.

    I read somewhere on here that this can happen at this age so maybe some of it is just a normal developmental stage?

    This dcb has been with me for over 2 years and always loved it here. Mom doesn't seem at all concerned that it's anything to do with me or the other kids, so that helps a lot!!
    “Children are not a zoo of entertainingly exotic creatures, but an array of mirrors in which the human predicament leaps out at us. ”
    ― John Updike

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